Constructive Arguing

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By , November 6, 2014 5:42 pm

All couples argue on occasion – some more than others. At times, these arguments grow to such proportions that the couple doesn’t speak for days. Some arguments can get so bad that they end relationships. A lot of couples tend to avoid arguing as often as possible because they feel that it has negative connotations regarding their relationship. That’s not always the case, however.
When couples argue, it’s generally due to something that they simply cannot agree on and each partner feels equally as strongly about their point of view on the topic. Some of these topics are only made to be serious because one of the partners is too self-centered to understand the meaning of compromise. For instance, suppose your families live a significant distance from you in different directions. This isn’t a huge problem except when it comes to major holidays. You would like to split the holidays so that you spend, for example, Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other one. Then, rotate it the next year. However, your partner refuses to see your point of view and insists that the two of you spend ALL holidays EVERY year with his family. This is good cause for an argument.
There may be other things that couples argue about that are more personal such as money, careers, and sex. When it comes to these topics, the arguments can be constructive and actually serve to resolve the issue at hand. While it’s usually not the best idea to let an issue simply sit and grow without being resolved, sometimes the only way to reach a resolution is by letting things come to a boiling point. You can yell, scream, and curse at each other until you both feel better. Then it’s time to sit down and actually talk reasonably. This is when you can get your partner to really hear what you’re saying as well as you being able to understand where he’s coming from.
Arguing doesn’t have to be a bad thing in relationships. If you use your disagreements to make needed improvements to your relationship, it will be much easier to keep things on an even path. Of course, there will always be some debates. After all, not everyone thinks or believes the same way about all things, and that’s a great thing because this would be a very boring world to live in if everyone was exactly alike.
Pick and choose your battles. Not everything is worth turning into a full-fledged debate, which can build into an even larger argument. So when something just isn’t that important to you, let it go and give in. You can even use that in the next issue that comes up for debate. Remind your partner that you let him have his way the last time and you think it’s only fair that you’re allowed to have something the way you want it. Of course, there will be certain things that both of you MUST be happy with such as where to live or what sort of vehicle to get. But those things will be easier to iron out once you’ve got your constructive arguing down to a science.

Dating Online

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By , November 4, 2014 12:06 pm

There once was a time when you had to go out in public in order to find a date, but these days, it’s usually done online rather than out in public. Social networking sites and chat rooms have taken over the dating pool that used to be in bars and clubs and moved it right into the Twenty First Century. In this way, you can stay at home and be comfortable while still finding people that you can go out with over the weekend. Now, that can actually sound interesting to some younger individuals out there, it can be a bit of a letdown for the older generations.
The first thing you are going to need to understand is that you have no idea who you are actually talking to online. For all you know, it could be a 60 year old man talking to you on the other end of the computer. Even though you can ask for a recent picture, they can be faked fairly easily these days, so you still won’t be able to guarantee the person you are talking to is real or not. The internet is a great place to exaggerate about yourself as well, and many people tend to do that.
One thing that you can do to make sure who you are talking to isn’t lying about themselves is to use a web cam together. In this way, they can see you and you can see them, so there is no hiding who you are talking to. Of course, you don’t want things in the background to let people know where you might be. This will make sure that the person you are talking to isn’t a stalker that’s out to get you or something. Things like that happen mostly in the movies, but you never know who you might come into contact with these days.
Online stalking has become quite an issue in the last decade or so, and that is something that can cause you some problems. You have to make sure that the person you are talking to doesn’t have bad intent towards you, but it’s hard to do that when you don’t actually know them. Now, you can check out some people online through free websites that do a basic background check, although you need to have some personal information in order to make sure you get the right details.
Finding people online is a great opportunity these days because you have a greater chance of meeting someone that might be in a different area than you. This opens up the relationship pool quite a lot, whereas before, you were stuck with the people that were in your local area. Playing the odds might give you the best possible chance of happiness, but you have to be extra careful with who you are talking to and what kind of information you give to them. Being happy is important, but giving out personal information online to people you don’t know could come back to bite you later on.

The Magical Number 3 In Relationships

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By , November 2, 2014 7:38 am

The number 3 turns up quite a bit when it regards the course of a relationship. In fact, many people call it a rule, such as the “3 date rule” for example. Many of these 3’s have probably figured prominently in some of your dating relationships but you may not have noticed at the time. Following are some ways that the number 3 is important when it comes to relationships:

Men don’t call you for 3 days following a first date: This might or might not be true for you. However, it’s a rule to men and it can go either way. He could be just waiting to see if you’re secure or needy. It may also be that he wants to re-evaluate the date before he calls you to ask you out again. So if you haven’t heard from him for 3 days after your date, DO NOT CALL him. He’s not in the hospital from an illness or an accident. He’s just not interested.
Sex on the 3rd date: This is a decision that no one can make except you. While you’ve probably heard this one yourself, you may or may not have had sex on your third date in past relationships. However, each person is different. Use your intuition and instincts when it comes to this. When you think about it seriously, you really don’t know each other well enough after 3 dates to actually have sex.
You should take down your dating website profile after 3 months: When you meet someone through a dating site on the Internet, it’s usually a good idea to remove your profile once the relationship is going steadily for 3 months. In that time, you should talk about it and mutually decide to take down your dating profiles if you’re both comfortable with the relationship. However, if 3 months go by and one of you isn’t ready to remove your profile, it’s time to re-assess the relationship as it could be one sided.
Introduce him to your children after 3 months: If you’re a single parent and you’ve made it this far with the relationship 3’s, it MIGHT be time to introduce your kids to your new man. Of course, it depends on your kids, your man and his kids, if he has any. Don’t rush this part. You don’t want to cause any more disturbances in their lives. If you’re comfortable at 3 months, meet up at public places and see how everyone gets along.
After being together for 3 years, you should get married: If you’ve been together for 3 years, you might already be living together, or at least spending every day with each other if you’re in a good relationship. For dating or engaged couples, it can be a good time to take that next step. However, if your man isn’t interested in getting married by this time, he may never be ready to make a commitment. In that case, it may be time for you to move forward to someone that wants to be married.

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