I Caught Him Once Could He Still Be Cheating

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By , December 31, 2014 10:25 pm

One of the hardest things to do when you catch your man cheating on you is to forgive and take him back, assuming that he WANTS you to take him back. Sometimes these guys are almost relieved to be caught because they want out of the relationship and figure this is a sure fire way of making that happen. However, other guys don’t really want out of the relationship. They just couldn’t avoid temptation and feel that as long as the cheating didn’t “mean anything” it should all be ok with their wives or girlfriends.
Suppose you’ve already dealt with a cheating man once and let him back into your life. For a while everything has been going well. He comes home when he’s supposed to and he’s where he’s supposed to be at all times. It seems that he’s done everything possible to make it up to you and you’re starting to slowly trust him again. Suddenly, some little signs start popping up again.
His cell phone rings and he either ignores it if you’re around or he takes the call in another room. He starts setting his phone to silent when he’s home and doesn’t check calls, voice mail, or texts messages in your presence. It makes you feel that he’s hiding something from you.
Then, there’s that first night he calls and tells you he must work late. Now, he could very well be working late, but when you call him later on his work phone, he doesn’t answer even though his phone has caller ID and he can clearly see it’s you calling. Next, you try his cell phone and he doesn’t answer that, either. It’s not looking promising.
When you question him about his actions, he’s quick to assure you that you have nothing to worry about. His behavior returns to normal and you start to calm down some. You also begin to watch him less. However, he’s begun spending a lot of time on his laptop. In fact, he seems to stay on it some nights well into the wee hours. He tells you that he’s brought work home with him and that’s what he’s doing.
One day, you decide to check out his laptop while he’s in the shower. You find that he’s changed all of his passwords as well as erased any browser history. That’s kind of a red flag for a man that’s been caught cheating before. He may not be using his cell phone to communicate with other women because he can chat with them online while you’re sleeping.
It’s hard to know when signs are actually signs or if they’re really what your man is telling you they are. Broken trust has to be repaired if the relationship is going to work. So if he’s repeating past actions that make him look suspicious, it’s time to address them.
If he’s serious about rebuilding the relationship, he needs to give you all of his passwords to things, and stop hiding his calls and texts from you. By doing this, he’s showing you that he doesn’t have anything to hide and that he really wants to be back with you. On the other hand, if he wants to fight you on this, chances are that he’s back up to his old tricks and you need to make some hard decisions.

The Era Of Ready Made Families

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By , December 29, 2014 5:42 pm

These days with the divorce rate out of the ball park, you can expect to run into lots of potential dating partners that already have children of their own. Unless you’re in your teens, the probability of dating someone with children is very high. Sometimes, even teens already have at least one child, but that’s an entirely new subject.
What you have to decide when you’re looking for someone to date and possibly form a relationship with is how you feel about the possibility of a readymade family. You may be fine with it, particularly if you like kids and are hoping to have a big family. It can also work out if you love kids but, for some reason, can’t have your own. In that case, it would be a dream come true. You could have the family you always wanted in spite of any personal physical difficulties.
On the other hand, suppose you’re someone that hasn’t really decided if you even want to have children. You’re just starting to get on your feet with your career and you hadn’t exactly planned on being responsible for children until you’re a bit more settled in your life. It was your intention to enjoy some couples’ time with someone before going into all of the serious stuff such as marriage and children. That’s a smart way to think, too, because you may as well face it; children change your life drastically forever. You pretty much need to do as many of the things you always wanted to do early in life and before you commit to having children.
Now, suppose you meet someone that you really like and connect with. You spend some time talking with him and find that you have so many things in common that you feel you’ve met someone that has true potential for a relationship. Then he drops the little bomb on you that he’s divorced and the father of 2 young children. At first, you think well, it won’t be that bad because he probably only has them part of the time. That’s when he further challenges you with the fact that he has primary custody of them and his ex-wife gets visitation. Now what will you do?
That situation can be a tough one because now you really like this guy and he’s thrown you the biggest curve ball he could have. This is a situation that you really need to think through. On the one hand, you know you’re not ready to be a full time mother. But, again, this guy is so nice and you really do connect in a positive way.
It’s a big decision and one that you shouldn’t make lightly. There will definitely be some weighing on either side because you don’t want to make the wrong choice. One more thing to keep in mind, though, is that even if you really do like this man, you’ve just met him so you haven’t had time to truly become attached. If you have some serious doubts about jumping into a readymade family, it may be better to cut your losses before it’s too late.

How To Know Hes Not The One

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By , December 27, 2014 12:18 pm

There may be times when you’re in a relationship that the guy is just so perfect that you really want it to work out between the two of you. The only problem is that there just seems to be something missing and you can’t quite put your finger on it. If this sounds like you, it may come as a relief to know that there are ways to tell whether or not the guy you’re with is the one for you.
One of the first signs is that you kind of bypass the honeymoon phase of the relationship. This is the part where, in the beginning, you live to see each other. You spend the time you’re not together talking on the telephone or computer. Butterflies are something that you should have, especially in the beginning, and if you don’t feel that at all, you may be mistaking comfort for love.
Another thing you may want to consider is how long your conversations are with each other. If you have pretty short chats because you want to, then there’s something wrong. Couples that are really into each other can’t talk enough. They enjoy having stimulating conversations. Many times, they never want to hang up the phone if that’s how they’re chatting.
Unless you’ve both got high powered careers or you live miles away from each other, there should be the desire to spend plenty of quality time together. If you’re choosing not to spend much time together in person, instead favoring telephone communication or chatting online, you should rethink things. All couples that really care about each other want to spend time together in person rather than just chatting on the phone or online. Something definitely isn’t quite right when don’t want to be together at least some of the time.
If he forgets important information and/or dates, he’s probably not really that into you. Granted, some men just seem to have memories like sieves. They can’t remember what day of the week it is let alone things like your birthday or anniversary. On the other hand, if a man really doesn’t care that much about you, then what you’ve got going on in your life isn’t going to be overly important to them. If this is true of your guy, he’s probably not the right one for you.
A really telling fact that your relationship isn’t meant to be is that you haven’t discussed your future as a couple. This is true whether it’s you that hasn’t brought it up, or he hasn’t. If the subject doesn’t come up ever, then it’s probably not going to last.
One last thing to consider is that if he’s never around when you really need him, chances are he’s not going to be around at all for that much longer. Couples are supposed to be able to turn to one another when they’re having a great day or a bad one. It doesn’t matter which it is, but when you really care about someone, you’re going to ask the questions and be there for the answers. People that don’t care that much won’t be checking to see what’s going on in the lives of each other.

Dating With Children

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By , December 25, 2014 7:22 am

How many times have you found the perfect woman or man to go out with, but you weren’t able to get a date because your babysitter couldn’t come over and watch your kids? You would never guess the amount of people that have to give up any chance of happiness because they can’t find someone to watch their children so that they could go out on a date. The sad truth is that there are a lot of single parents out there that would love to find someone to share their life with, but have a hard time finding a reliable babysitter.
Well, there are a couple of things that you can do to get around this little issue. Now, no one is blaming their kids because they can’t go out on dates. Not only is that wrong from a moral standpoint, but it’s just bad parenting if you think it’s your kids’ fault. You have to understand that you have a responsibility to your children and they should always come first no matter what. That doesn’t mean you have to give up dating all together, though. You can still go out and have some fun. You just need to know how.
The first thing you should do is try a babysitter. If you have a regular babysitter, then ask them if they can watch the children for you so you can go out for a date. If they have other plans, offer to pay them extra if you can. Usually the extra money will be sufficient enough for you to get your date planned out. Of course, that plan doesn’t always work out for you and you will need to try something else. You can always ask your family if they can watch your kids for you.
Grandparents love to babysit because it gives them the chance to spoil your children rotten and then send them back home. If you are lucky enough to have your parents living close by, you can ask them if they would be willing to watch the little ones for a bit while you go out. Resorting to family members for babysitting is a great way of letting your children spend more time with them as well. Everyone wins in that type of a situation. But what if you don’t have family nearby that can help or they just aren’t able to help you out at that specific time?
If you can’t get a babysitter and your family can’t watch them for you, then you only have one option left. You have to figure out a date that you can include your children on and make sure that the person you want to date is willing to give it a shot. Not only will this give you time to get to know this person, but it will allow your children to get to know them better as well. Anyone that isn’t willing to go on a date with your children probably isn’t someone you want around them all that much anyway.

Cheap Dates

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By , December 23, 2014 2:24 am

Lots of people think of a cheap date as a woman that you only have to buy a couple of drinks for and she’ll be drunk enough to take home for the night or a few hours. That’s not the only thing it means, though. In today’s economy, dating is a whole lot different than it was even just ten years ago. Dating may seem to be only for the very wealthy these days but there are ways to get around the astronomical costs of activities.
First of all, movie dates don’t HAVE to be unaffordable. Granted, these won’t be the brand new releases that are showing in the theaters because those ARE expensive dates. However, you can stage a showing of a recently released DVD right in your own living room. If you can’t afford the cost of buying the movie, renting is pretty reasonable or you can see if any of your friends have it already and borrow it for the night. Add some popcorn, also cheap, and soda to your viewing experience, and you’ve got a movie date for a fraction of the cost that you would normally pay in a theater.
Dinner dates can also be done on a budget. One of the cheapest meals you can find besides just sandwiches is spaghetti. Now, before you turn up your nose, spaghetti can be delicious and quite elegant when done the right way. Hit up your local dollar store and get the pasta and sauce. Those are your basics. While you’re there, pick up a couple of candles for a bit of ambience. All of that will cost around $5. Next, head to the grocery store for either a head of lettuce and a tomato, or one of those small already made salads. Depending on your budget, you can add a couple more vegetables to it. All that’s left now is some Mozzarella or Parmesan cheese to go on top of the spaghetti and a loaf of garlic bread. You can probably do the “beefed up” version of this dinner for around $15. Tell your date to bring the wine.
Picnics are also very cheap dates. This is the time for sandwiches, sliced fruit, chips and whatever else you feel like throwing into the mix. Food that you choose for a picnic is something that you can adapt easily to your budget. Then, the two of you can head off to a nice park where you can enjoy your picnic for free. If it happens to rain, picnics are just as much fun on the living room floor. The point is to have some quality time together without worrying about money.
Play tourist in your own city. Many times, when you live somewhere you tend to miss all of the things that visitors come to see. Lots of these things will have low to no admission prices and you can have the chance to appreciate where you live. This can be done on more than one occasion because you might not be able to do it all in one day.
The important thing is that you find ways to be together that are also fun and don’t break your budget.

Spotting A Stalker

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By , December 20, 2014 9:37 pm

Stalking has become one of the top criminal offenses in recent years and the statistics keep climbing. A lot of people want to blame this on the introduction of the Internet but the truth is that stalking has been going on many years before anyone ever heard of in home computers. Honestly, stalking has most likely been going on since the days of the cavemen. Of course, THOSE guys simply TOOK the women they wanted, and that was that. Things are a lot different now in spite of the fact that most stalkers still have that caveman mentality. Granted, anyone can be at risk for becoming a victim of a stalker. However, people that are active in the dating scene tend to be more susceptible. That’s not meant to be critical of people that enjoy dating. It’s just that these people are exposed to the possibility more.
Many of these victims found themselves as the object of a stalker after beginning an online friendship. It really doesn’t matter whether these friendships stayed online or evolved into face to face meetings. If someone is Internet savvy enough, they can find out anything they want to know about someone. The only way you can be positive of being one hundred percent safe from people discovering things about you is if you hold a high government job. Even then, all of your secrets may not be safe.
With online dating being so prevalent these days, it’s important to take some extra precautions. Now, women are typically the most common victims of stalking but there have been plenty of cases reported where men were the victims. That just means that everyone, no matter what gender you are or what your sexual persuasion is, should always exercise caution when meeting someone new.
While a lot of times, the stalker seems perfectly normal at first, there may still be small signs that something’s a bit off. For example, if he starts immediately planning a future with you on the first date, you may want to back off pretty fast. Anytime someone attaches to you that quickly, it means something isn’t right.
It’s not always that easy to spot these abnormalities, but if you find yourself constantly “running into” someone even in out of the way places, there’s a good chance you’re being followed and don’t realize it. If someone keeps calling you even though you’re constantly getting a new unlisted number, you might be in trouble. Also, don’t discount the arrival of unwanted gifts, although once things get to this stage, you’re probably going to need the help of the police and a restraining order.
Something that you can usually spot in the beginning, though, is the way he looks at you. There’s an intensity that has no business being there so soon. If you notice this, or your intuition just tells you that something’s not right, don’t hesitate to cut off all contact on your end. The faster you do it the better.
Don’t feel dumb, though, if you do happen to attract a stalker. There are many instances in where you don’t even realize that you’ve come into contact with someone of this nature. It could simply be someone you passed in the grocery store or rode the subway with. Sometimes there’s just no way to know, but by following a few common sense rules, you can keep yourself safer.

7 Steps On How To Save A Relationship

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By , December 18, 2014 4:47 pm

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

Googling That New Man

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By , December 16, 2014 11:58 am

Meeting men in such ways as online and through dating services has brought about a unique aspect of dating that your grandparents and maybe even your parents would have never heard of back in their dating days. This aspect is that of investigating the new man that you’re thinking of going out with. However, this has become a very accepted action when new people first make contact and think they may want to take it a bit further, especially when the person is a total stranger and you don’t know anything about him.
Now, due to the introduction of the internet, there are many ways to check out someone and find out nearly everything about them. You can subscribe to services that will give you access to all sorts of personal information about people. This can be very helpful if you’re trying to make sure that someone is safe enough to be let into your life. You certainly don’t want a criminal knowing where you live.
Another way to find out interesting things about someone you’re thinking of dating is through a Google Search. The information you find in this way might be somewhat different than what you would be getting from those subscription services. You’ll find such things as Facebook or MySpace profiles that can tell you a lot about a person, unless they’ve got their privacy settings so strict that you can only see their name.
A good example of this is a television commercial about a phone service where they use a speed dating setting. There’s this guy that thinks he’s a real player that sits down in front of a savvy young lady that has her cell phone out and plugged into the internet. He starts out saying how he’s looking for the whole package as in a wife and kids. However, she sees from his online profile that he had, only minutes before, updated to say he was never getting married. She asks him about that and he says that it was before he had met her. The problem is that she had already seen that this was his favorite pick up line. Obviously, the guy isn’t going to get anywhere with this woman. She Googled him and found out what he was really all about, thus keeping herself from wasting even those few speed dating minutes.
A Google Search will put you on the road to things that are important, but wouldn’t be included in a normal investigative report. Google will send you to posts or comments made by the man you’re checking out. These are, often, very important to know. Just like the lady in the commercial, you’re avoiding a waste of time if the guy in question happens to be a player, and you wouldn’t know about that until it’s too late.
The easiest way to Google someone is to put in various names that he’s known by as well as any email addresses that you may know. Then, you can hit images and see what you turn up there. It’s not difficult and it’s free. This may be the best thing you could do for yourself in the world of dating.

7 Ways To Build Trust In A Relationship

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By , December 14, 2014 6:05 am

Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

Dating Someone No One Likes

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By , December 12, 2014 1:22 am

It happens more than you may realize. Women meet a guy that simply knocks their socks, or other articles of clothing, off and they fall head over heels. He seems to be able to do no wrong. He’s gorgeous, passionate, and very caring. Even when he meets the family, he says and does all the right things. Your friends even start out liking him especially when compared to the other guys you’ve been involved with.
Slowly, but surely, though, he starts to change a bit. He becomes obnoxious to your friends and even starts to push his boundaries with your family a little. His attitude is one of being a total smartass. It becomes all too clear why almost everyone he’s come in contact with can’t stand him. To them, he’s obnoxious, a know it all, and downright mean and argumentative. He does little to redeem himself in their eyes, either.
Your friends soon see this side of him as well and wonder why on earth you want to be with someone like that. The problem is that you’re still seeing the same side of him that you first saw when you met. He hasn’t changed in his actions toward you, and you’re falling more in love with him every day. However, your friends are starting to avoid you somewhat. They invite you to go out with them, but on the condition that he doesn’t come along, too. Then, they start to check ahead of time to see when you’ll be on your own so they can make plans to do something with you that has no chance of including him.
This is a difficult situation to be in, particularly when you’re used to being with your friends a lot and having several good friends. Suddenly, you find yourself more and more hanging out with only your boyfriend. While you still love him, you feel pretty sad that you seem to be having to make a choice between him and your friends.
There are some ways to approach this dilemma. The first one is, obviously, to sit him down and try to talk about it. Explain to him that while you do love him, you also love your friends and you consider it disrespectful to you for him to treat them in ways that drive them off. If he refuses to understand what you’re saying, then you have the choice of staying or going.
If you truly love this man for your own reasons, there may be a way to work out seeing your friends when he’s otherwise occupied. On the other hand, maybe you’re happy not having friends. This man may be all you need in your life to be happy and fulfilled. All of that is just something only you hold the answers to. But it’s important not to wait too long to decide or you’ll find that your friends have all moved on to friends and activities without you. It may not be possible to bring them back to you after too long. So you must also keep that in mind.

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