How To Deal With A Break Up When Your Hearts Been Broken

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By , January 31, 2015 8:55 pm

Have you just been dumped by a boyfriend or girlfriend that you cared a lot about? Is your heart broken? Are you not sure how to move on? Here’s how to deal with a break up.

First of all, make sure that the relationship is truly over. Sometimes people break up on the spur of the moment and regret it almost immediately. Other times, couples just need a “breather” to get a sense of whether to move on.

So, make sure that the relationship is truly over before following the advice in the rest of this article.

But, once you are ready to move on, there are some things you can do to assist in the healing process.

First of all, get rid of all of your ex’s things. Do a “property swap” where you give them their stuff and they give you yours. If there are little things like toothbrushes that don’t necessarily need to be exchanged, throw them away.

Your ex may have given you gifts that you value. You don’t necessarily want to get rid of these things, but you also don’t want them to be a constant reminder of the break up. For the time being, box them up and put them in the attic. The idea is that you don’t want anything around that reminds you of your ex.

The next step in how to deal with a break up is to cut off communication with your ex. While at some time in the future you might be able to be “just friends,” right now is not the time. You have some healing to do and it’s best to do it without him or her in your life.

So, don’t see each other casually, phone, email, text or otherwise keep the ties that bind. If you are in the same school or workplace, make an effort to keep your distance without being rude.

After a break up, you are likely to be hurting and you won’t want to go out and be social right away. But you should! Staying in and eating pints of Ben and Jerry’s is not how to deal with a break up! Instead, get out there and reconnect with friends and family. Make a point of participating in girl’s and guy’s nights out.

Also, take advantage of this period of your life to explore new interests. It may be a good distraction to take up cycling or cooking. Take an art class or join a book discussion group. Get back into your workout routine at the gym or start with a beginning yoga class. Your ability to deal with the loss of your ex will, in large part, be a reflection of whether you can get back out into the real world without him or her.

At some point, you will find that you are attracted to another person. Make some overtures even if you don’t think it will turn out to be the love of your life. A rebound relationship can help you get over an ex. And that is how to deal with a break up.

You Might Be Watching Too Much Porn If

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By , January 29, 2015 3:14 pm

Some people can enjoy watching porn with a healthy mindset. They get a little turned on, possibly while watching with their partners, and take things to the next level. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s a great way to enhance the sex lives of many couples when things need to be spiced up. There are plenty of positive aspects to looking at porn.

However, there are also those people that watch porn way too much. These are the ones that watch so much porn that they get confused with their porn movie plots and real life. This can actually create difficulties for you if you’re involved with someone. It can also cause trouble even if you’re single. If you’re not sure if that applies to you or not, have a look at the following list. It will tell you clearly that you might be watching too much porn if:

You hum the theme songs and background music from any porn movie like others sing their favorite Top 40 Hits

You find it odd that a female pizza delivery person comes to your door with your pizza but doesn’t ask to see your bedroom

The hot woman next door doesn’t invite you over to do yard work just so she can seduce you, and you’re flabbergasted

Your 18 year old babysitter doesn’t hit on you while you’re driving her home and you think something’s wrong with her

You don’t understand why your wife or girlfriend doesn’t meet you at the door wearing only a see thru nightie or nothing except stiletto heels

You know all of the dialogue by heart of every porn movie you watch

The gorgeous bank teller just takes your deposit without inviting you back to see the vault and you’re puzzled

You expect your wife or girlfriend to always look like a porn star even when she first gets up in the morning

You go to the local gym and expect the female trainer to strip and show you various ways to use the weight bench

You’re only interested in meeting women that look like porn stars
You expect to meet a beautiful woman and have her immediately come onto you sexually

You have to always have a porn movie playing in the background in order to have successful sexual encounters because you need the soundtrack

You expect your wife or girlfriend to suddenly start addressing you as Master without being asked

You’re investing in some weird paraphernalia

You hear the word “dessert” and instantly visualize a sexy naked woman covered in strawberries and cream for you to lick off

You start answering your door stark naked because you believe that everyone wants to see your package, even the church ladies

If you find that you’re doing any or all of these things, do yourself a huge favor and put away the porn at least for a while, if not forever. You’re obviously starting to reside in more of a porn world than the real one, and you’re going to start frightening away all females that may have had potential for relationships.

How Long To Wait For A Proposal

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By , January 27, 2015 10:19 am

Each year there are many women worldwide that are thrilled to accept a marriage proposal along with a beautiful engagement ring to go with it during the holidays. On the other hand, there are also many women that were sorely disappointed when the holidays passed without a proposal or a ring. Out of this group of women, there will be many wondering just how long they need to wait for their men to pop the question.

There really aren’t any hard and fast rules when it comes to this dilemma. That’s what makes it somewhat difficult to know when to stick it out or when to walk away. Granted, there ARE some guidelines that can be used to gauge whether or not you’re wasting your time on a dead end relationship, and this may be just about all the help you’ll get with this issue.

To begin with, if you’re in a relationship that has gone on for ten years and he’s still living at home with his parents, chances are that you won’t be getting a marriage proposal any time soon, if ever. You may as well face it; he’s in a comfortable situation. He’s got a roof over his head, gets his laundry done and his meals cooked for minimal cost. Then, he’s got you meeting his social and sexual needs. Why should he give up all of that and take on the responsibilities of marriage?

That’s one extreme of relationships. The other is when you’ve just met someone and have only been going out for a couple of weeks. You probably haven’t even had sex yet. In this situation, you need to wait a while longer before expecting a marriage proposal and a ring. You’re still very much in that getting acquainted stage and there’s no need to rush this part.

Now, for those couples that have been with each other anywhere from a year to five years, it’s time to figure out where the relationship is going, and what each of you want from it. You’ve had time to get well acquainted with each other and should know whether or not you’re interested in spending the rest of your life together. If your man is still hedging on a commitment and you want the house and picket fence, it’s time to sit down and have an open and honest conversation about where to go from there.

Sure, there are those rare couples that have been together a month, decide to get married and then remain happily married for fifty years. That doesn’t happen very often, though. It seems to be important to get to know someone pretty well BEFORE getting married rather than AFTER. In that way, you’re sure to have a good idea of what you’re getting in the deal and the type of personality you’ll be living with and dealing with.
The important thing to remember is that these things usually happen when they’re meant to, and if the proposal doesn’t come within a reasonable amount of time, it probably wasn’t meant to ever happen.

Pattern Dating

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By , January 25, 2015 5:17 am

Some women seem to be drawn to all the wrong men when it comes to dating and relationships. They can’t seem to help themselves, and this is pretty sad because until they break their negative patterns in dating, they’ll never have a truly successful relationship. Instead, they’ll continue to date one wrong man after another.
So what do you do about that if you happen to fall into this category? First of all, you must identify the types of guys that you’ve been falling victim to and figure out why they’re all so wrong for you. For instance, if you’re drawn to the bad boy type, it may be due to a part of you that loves to rebel against things. You may also subconsciously want to be mistreated in some way. There may also be a part of you that wants to “help” or “change” these guys into loving and respectful men. While that’s very sweet of you, there’s something that you should be aware of. That something is that these guys are never going to change and see things your way. They like being the way they are and will not change for anyone. Therefore, the person that needs to change is you.
If you find the negative pattern of dating that you seem to keep following, you can start changing it into something useful and a way to find happiness. Another negative dating pattern that many women cave into is that of using sex to find their Prince Charming. These women don’t just kiss on a first date; they have sex on a first date. In fact, for a lot of them, they don’t even need to be on a date. They just allow themselves to be picked up at bars and taken to the back seats of cars or alleys. For some reason, they seem to feel that by having sex with a guy, any guy, that they’ll find true love. Sadly, but not unsurprisingly, this really doesn’t happen. What does tend to happen are unwanted pregnancies and STDs.
To start breaking through your negative dating pattern, no matter what it is, then the first thing you need to do is figure out why the kind of guy you’re attracted to always turn out to be bad news for you. When you’re able to get that part settled in your head, then you can set about figuring out the type of men that will be good for you. Look closely at what you need from a partner long term. Then start trying to meet men that fit the criteria.
Even if you have to force yourself, stay away from those former guys that have always been so bad for you. Understand that if you’re ever going to be happy, you must extricate yourself from the negative dating patterns that you’ve enmeshed yourself in, no matter what they may be. It’s not impossible to get it all worked out. If you can’t do it on your own, then you may want to get some professional help with it in the form of a counselor.

How Get Your Ex Back What To Do When Shes Dumped You

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By , January 23, 2015 12:55 am

How get your ex back? This is the lament of every guy who has ever been dumped. Did you know that in three quarters of break ups, it is the girl who calls the whole thing off? Guys generally want to stay together with their girlfriends. This article is about how to get ex back.

First of all, you have to determine whether she did you a favor by dumping you. Too often, guys stick with girls out of inertia. It is easier to stay in an okay relationship than go out and look for a really good one. If you don’t feel that the girl who dumped you was your soul mate, consider that her calling things off might be a blessing in disguise.

If this is not the case and you still want get your ex back, read on.

The next step is to determine whether she loves you. Girls can be fickle. They are much more likely to act impulsively and then have regrets about what they did. If you think she still loves you, you have a good chance at ho get your ex back.

In this case, you have to make her come to you. Many guys call their ex’s numerous times, send hundreds of texts, and exhibit other such stalkerish behavior. This just pushes their girlfriends away.

Instead, seem like you are accepting of the break up. Move on. Date other girls – especially girls in her circle. By making her come back to you instead of the other way around, you will go about how get your ex back.

During this time, you should analyze whether you have changed from the many she first fell in love with. Often, guys try to impress girls up front. But, once they have slipped into a comfortable relationship with their girlfriend, they slag off. For instance, are you still working out as often as you did? Toward the end, were you still opening her car door, buying her flowers, and generally romancing her the way you did at the beginning of the relationship? These things can make a big difference in how get your ex back.

When you do see your ex girlfriend, subtly remind her of your common bonds. If you are going to go to a party where you know she’s going to be, wear a shirt she gave you. If she has a favorite cologne, wear it. And, when you talk, bring up the positive things in your past. Don’t beat her over the head with them, but make her nostalgic about your common history.

Invite her to non-committal type of events. If a group of friends are going to the beach, ask her to come along. Begin seeing her in social settings once again. When she comes along, pay some attention to her, but spend your time with your friends and other girls too. When she sees that you are an attractive catch, you’ve already won half the battle of how get your ex back.

So, that is how get your ex back.

Write Your Own Great Love Story

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By , January 20, 2015 7:41 pm

Unless you’ve been living your life under rock, you’ve heard about such couples as Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, Lancelot and Guinevere, and Mark Antony and Cleopatra. These are some of the greatest love stories of all time. The love and passion of these couples may have colored the expectations of women throughout the years when it comes to their own relationships. That’s a terrible mistake, though.
To begin with, look at the way these relationships ended. They all had very tragic consequences to be suffered and none of them got their happily ever after ending. That should be the number one reason that you don’t look to these couples as examples of how relationships should be. Yes, they were all very passionate love affairs, but the events got all twisted and resulted in death at the end, and not just the death of the relationships. These couples either died from grief or killed themselves. Now, seriously, just how happy do those relationships sound?
What you want to do with your relationship is to not compare it to those “great love stories.” You want to write your own love story and make it even greater than those you’ve read and heard about. Real love stories can be just as passionate and romantic as the great ones, but you can have an actual happy ending. All you have to do is live in the present and look forward to the future. Don’t dwell on things that may have gone wrong in the past or may have been what you thought was perfection. Nothing is perfect, not ever, and you need to also understand that if you’re going to have your own great love story.
Romance doesn’t have to be tragic to be meaningful. Go with your feelings but also inject a bit of common sense and realism into your relationship. Those great love stories also had an element of insanity in them, and you’ll see this if you read them carefully. You can have all the romance in your relationship that you can handle. All you need to do is be with the right person. The relationship you have can be a happy one, and that happiness doesn’t need to be fleeting, like in those great love stories. You can have happiness in your relationship all the time. Just make the right choices.
You’ll notice a common theme in these stories is that one or both lovers belonged to someone else, whether through marriage or betrothal. Everyone knows that getting involved with someone that’s already attached is a bad idea, and if you don’t believe that, then you’re a very naïve person. You’re also not very serious about having a true happy relationship. Most likely, you want to feel that passion of the forbidden even though it won’t end well and certainly not in your favor.
Think clearly about the choices you make when it comes to love and romance. In the end, you can simply write your own great love story and it will better than anything you’ve ever read or seen on the big screen.

Be Yourself And Only Yourself

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By , January 18, 2015 2:25 pm

There are a lot of guys out there that have seen television shows and movies that have one of those dating guru type guys promising to get you any woman you ever wanted to fall madly in love with you. There are also websites that you’ve probably seen along with eBooks all over the internet that promise you the same things as well. While these “guru’s” are making quite a lot of money with their promises, what they aren’t telling you is that it’s all a scam. They want you to give them their hard earned money so that they can go out and buy things while you sit at home reading their information.

For the most part, these guys promise you the world but very rarely ever deliver. In fact, if you actually look at what they are trying to sell you, you will find that all you have to do is go out and act like a jackass, and you will get laid every night of the week. The truth is, any woman that would fall for any guy that acts that way deserves the relationship she ends up with. If you want to have a real relationship, then you are going to have to be yourself.

Being yourself is one of the hardest and most important things that you can do in order to gain the trust that a relationship is based on. If you go into the beginning of a relationship with her thinking you are some flashy rich guy, and it turns out that you drive a Pinto and live in your mother’s basement, when she finds out you can pretty much kiss any chance of being with her again goodbye. Women don’t want to be lied to, even if it’s something small, and starting a relationship out this way will cause it to end very quickly.

All those gurus want you to ACT like you are confident when the truth is you should BE confident. There is no reason for you to act like you are confident it you really aren’t. The woman you are interested in is going to know right away if you have the confidence to be with her or not. Think of it as eating fast food your entire life and suddenly finding yourself in a 5 start French restaurant, ordering wine in French. The waiter is going to know that you aren’t from France, and she is going to know you aren’t confident.

The best thing to do is be truthful and honest with her. Tell her that you don’t have the money to go out to a fancy restaurant, then turn around and make a romantic picnic out of things you can afford. Do something small but elegant to show her who you are on the inside and you will find that it will impress her much more than trying to pull off the bad boy routine that you just paid $29.95 for online. The choice is yours, but making it the right choice is what she deserves from you.

Fighting After The Wedding Letdown

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By , January 16, 2015 9:41 am

Couples invest so much time in putting their wedding together that it literally consumes their lives from the time the date is set until the pronouncement that they are husband and wife. Then there’s the reception and the opening of gifts. It’s just one thing after another until the last guest has departed and the last of the rose petals have been swept up the after cleaning.
If you’re taking off immediately on a honeymoon trip, the level of excitement is usually still pretty high. You and your new spouse can simply relax after all of the previous stress of planning and getting through the wedding and just enjoy each other. Hopefully, the two of you have planned ahead far enough so that you can afford at least a week long trip to a great location that each of you love.
One reason that a honeymoon is so important is to keep the momentum of the romance and marriage going. For many couples, especially the brides, there’s a feeling of deflation or a letdown following the wedding. This is usually because now all of the excitement is over and it can bring about a sensation of “now there’s nothing to look forward to.” It’s a feeling that can happen to anyone, no matter how much in love they may be.
This is somewhat more common with couples that have been living together because, while they do have the wedding preparations and everything that goes along with that, they tend to return to “real life” more quickly than couples not living together. For those couples, the experience of going to bed together every night and waking up every morning is new and offers more than a few delights that come with married life. The other couples that have been enjoying these delights prior to marriage may need a bit more help in keeping up that flow of excitement.
If you’re worried that you may experience a letdown following the wedding ceremony, the first thing you need to do is make sure that you have at least a long weekend to go away somewhere. With the current economy, there are fewer couples now that can afford week long honeymoons in Hawaii or the Bahamas. That doesn’t mean that you can’t find a quaint, romantic little bed and breakfast a couple of hours away from your home. If you make sure to tell them that it’s your honeymoon when you call to make reservations, you’re almost guaranteed to receive special treatment along with extra privacy.
A honeymoon is the perfect way to make the transition from the couple standing at the altar to the married couple at home. Your honeymoon lets you have a bit of breathing room between the two. It also gives you something to look forward to following the wedding. Going straight back to a house that you’ve been living in together for the last two years can make you feel like it’s nothing special that you’ve just got married. However, if you space that out with a romantic getaway, you’ll find the excitement is still there.

Dating Patterns To Avoid

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By , January 14, 2015 4:30 am

Many times women tend to fall into certain patterns when it comes to dating. Now, they don’t have to be negative ones, but they typically are. Once you know what to watch for, though, you’ll find that those patterns will dissipate in no time.
One of those patterns is to stop mistaking comfort for love or attraction. This happens when you meet someone that you feel comfortable with instantly. You already know what to say and not to say around them, what makes them laugh, and other things. What you’re missing here is that he’s a lot like your ex, and most of the exes before him. Stop letting history repeat itself.
Another pretty important thing you want to watch is keeping in touch with your ex. Yes, it may seem harmless and you hate to simply cut him off that way. You’ve probably got a thousand excuses as to why you keep texting or calling him. Something you need to remember is that you’ll never move on while your ex is still in the picture.
There’s a lot to be said for companionship, but how many times do you let companionship take hold and settle in while taking the place of excitement. Relationships should have at least some excitement in them so that you’ve got something to look forward to. If there’s too much comfort in your relationship, it won’t be long until it becomes really boring and not worth the effort.
Something else to remember is that you need to pace yourself when you’ve just ended a relationship with someone. This is particularly true if you were in a long term relationship. Give yourself some time to heal before you dive right into dating someone new. Rebound relationships rarely work out.
Some women decide that they’re just dating the wrong types of guys. So instead of trying to figure out what went wrong in the last relationship, they start dating guys opposite from the type they usually date. This is a recipe for disaster.
Something else you should never do is pretend to be something that you’re not. Many women decide that they simply don’t want to feel anything anymore so they try to pretend to be players. Eventually, you’re going to really hurt someone and then you’ll feel awful.
Last, but not least, don’t lie to yourself about what’s really going on in your relationship. If he’s seeing other people, but you’re not allowed to, that’s not a relationship. He’s calling all the shots and you’re pretending that it’s all good. The problem is that it’s not all good and you need to stop lying to yourself. He doesn’t love you and you’re not in a true relationship if that’s going on.
Now, if you find yourself repeating any of these patterns over and over again, it’s time to take stock of what you’re really doing when it comes to relationships. Be ready to change what needs to be changed and stand up for yourself. You deserve a true relationship, but you’re not going to do it by repeating destructive patterns.

Things Women Wish They Had Known Prior To Marriage

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By , January 11, 2015 11:17 pm

It’s disheartening to look at the sad statistics these days when it comes to the divorce rate compared with the number of actual successful marriages. So many women jump into marriage only to lament later in those same marriages that there are so many things they wished they had known before they said I do. This is true even of the women that married after living with their partner for a significant amount of time. It seems that even knowing your husband-to-be as much as you can from living with him still isn’t enough. Things women wish they had known before walking down the aisle include:
What being married is truly like: Too many women buy into the hype perpetuated by the media that marriage is a fairy tale with a happy ending. This can even happen to intelligent and highly intelligent women. Too late, they realize that they’ve entered into something far more serious than a fairy tale.
Being more acquainted with themselves: Too many women get married before they really understand who they are. That’s not helpful when they suddenly have to take on the added task of understanding another person that’s a big part of their lives.
Taking a little more time before getting married: These are the women that felt pressured into getting married before they were completely ready. They may find they’re not even in love with the person they married.
Know their future in laws a bit better: Some women are blindsided by how much their husbands are influenced by his own parents’ view of marriage and what it should be like. That’s not always a good situation for a marriage.
Bad behavior can only get worse: This is common among the women that always made excuses for the bad behavior of their future husbands prior to marrying them. Surprisingly, they couldn’t believe that they were unable to change this behavior once they got married.
Need to know more about money: Many women are astounded that they are so capable at handling money when it’s forced on them. Other women realize that have made themselves dependent by not taking an active part in handling the finances jointly. Women should always know what’s going on with finances in their marriage.
What it takes to make a marriage succeed: There’s no real answer to this one. In fact, what works for one family may not work for another one. This is something that all couples must puzzle out for themselves. It’s more a matter of trial and error. If one thing doesn’t work, then something else can be tried.
Granted, knowing the answers to all of the above won’t guarantee a successful and happy marriage. However, it’s very possible that being more familiar with them will give you an edge that others don’t have. The biggest rule when it comes to having a good marriage is to never ignore any doubts that you may have. If you don’t feel one hundred percent that you’re ready to get married, then don’t, and don’t let anyone else talk you into it before you’re ready.

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