Dealing With Break Up Causes Break Up Pain

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By , April 30, 2015 4:21 am

Dealing with break up pain, any way that you look at it, is not going to be an easy or enjoyable task. A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on. When it comes to dealing with a broken intimate relationship, it is important that you look past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem impossible for the time being.

Relationship breakup puts a lot of people through fear and misery. Some of the people going through these feelings have no one in the world to turn to, and this is why people suffer so hard from heartbreak in the first place. Dealing with break up pain all by yourself can seem impossible at first, but consider how many people deal with love and loss in their lives and survive to talk about it. You too will be able to get over what feels like a crippling break up, but only if you are willing to deal with heartbreak pain the right way, and the healthy way for that matter.

So why is the pain from a lost love break up so difficult? Because when dealing with a break up, it will seem as if you are the only one who has suffered the kind of pain you’re going through. It is important that you continue to try to heal rather than allowing yourself to give up on the situation. Dwelling on the painful split from your lover will not help you, so instead you should work on getting better and moving on, which will allow you to stop dealing with break up pain and start dealing with moving on and finding someone new, perhaps even someone that has a better dynamic with you.

* Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.

* Don’t dwell on the bad feelings, but focus on the good parts of your life in order to promote healing.

Your friends will probably realize that you’re going through something serious, and they will more than likely dedicate themselves to trying to help you through it. If this is the case, don’t blow them off, because going out and spending time with your friends and the people that you care about will be extremely helpful when it comes to dealing with break up pain. Everyone goes through a period where they are dealing with break up pain, because everyone goes through a breakup. Rather than allow yourself to suffer while dealing with breaking up pain, what you should do is enjoy yourself and work on healing rather than allowing yourself to become stressed out, overwhelmed or depressed by your heartbreak.

Surviving A Break Up Follow This Example

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By , April 27, 2015 11:07 pm

Roxanne didn’t know if she was going to be able to go about surviving a break up with her boyfriend George. He had been the focus of her life for over a year now. When he said that he wanted to see other people, she thought she would die.

At first, Roxanne tried to get George back. She wrote him love letters, phoned him a couple of times a day, and sent numerous texts. These things seemed to drive George further away rather than bringing him back.

After a couple of weeks, Roxanne decided that it was really over. She noticed that there were things around her house that reminded her of George. She also knew that George had her favorite stuffed animal. So, she suggested that the two of them do a “property exchange.” He gave her back her things and she gave him back his leather jacket. The little things like the comb and toothbrush he had left at her house she just threw away.

But, George didn’t want to take back the necklace he had given her last Valentine’s day. He told her to keep it to remember him. The point was, remembering him caused Roxanne too much pain right now. So, she boxed it away so that she wouldn’t have to see it and be reminded of him, at least for the time being.

Then, Roxanne asked George to cut off communication for a month. They would be able to move on with their lives without each other. It was a defense mechanism for surviving a break up.

At first, George protested that he wanted to stay friends if not significant others, but Roxanne insisted that the “time out” would allow them to transition into their new relationship better. So, during that month, they didn’t talk, email, or otherwise contact each other. And, they made a point to be cordial but not friendly if they ran into each other.

Roxanne decided it was time to reconnect with her girlfriends during this period. She had spent time with them when George wasn’t demanding her attention, but she wanted to spend some real quality time with them during this period. She organized “Girl’s Nights Out” and other events.

She also took up yoga and joined a book discussion group. These things were very helpful in surviving a break up for her. In addition to her old friends, she started to make new friends through these activities. Getting back out and doing things she enjoyed also allowed her to feel that she was moving on from her old relationship.

On one of the “Girls Nights Out,” she met Jim. They flirted and eventually he got her phone number. While she didn’t think she was ready for a new relationship, she went out on a date with him anyway. She new that getting back into the game was one way of surviving a break up.

Its Over So Get Over It

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By , April 25, 2015 6:49 pm

So you are sitting in a dark room with a tub of ice cream in your lap and tissues piled up next to you on the bed because you found out he was talking to his ex on Facebook. That is something that happens to a lot of people these days, especially when you consider how popular social sites have become. But that doesn’t mean you have to let it take you into a pit of despair. Sure, it’s going to hurt for a bit but you will eventually get over him and move on with your life like it never happened.
Moving on from a relationship is a hard thing to do most of the time. Even when your partner has done something so completely stupid that you have no issues walking out the door, the days that follow will be filled with sleepless nights and all the good memories that the two of you shared together. Guys and gals alike will go through things like this at the end of a relationship no matter what happened to cause it to end. The bad thing is that there is no one set way of making things return to normal.
Some people may think going out to parties and drinking a lot will help them move on with their lives. For some of them, it might help, but everyone knows that when you start drinking to forget something like a relationship, you end up doing something even more stupid than you did to end it all. The fact is you will try to get even with that person by sleeping with someone you never would have slept with if you were sober, and that is not the way to go about things.
You have to look at the end of your relationship much like a death in the family; you have to give yourself the time you need to mourn and grieve for what has been lost before you can find the willpower to recover from it. If you allow yourself to slowly come to the realization that what you had is gone and in the past, then you can move forward and find a new path that you can walk down. Hopefully, this time it will be with someone that ends up being a lot better than the idiot you just caught talking to his ex on Facebook.
Now that may not seem like a very constructive way of handling things to most people, but the truth is everyone handles things like this differently. The one thing you don’t want to do is go out and do something stupid that you are going to regret later on. You can go out with your friends and have some fun, but don’t get so drunk that you can’t remember which members of the football team you went home with. That is counterproductive and can end up causing even more problems in your life than just sitting at home eating ice cream with a close friend and thinking about how you are going to get through all of this.

Holding Onto A Fantasy

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By , April 23, 2015 1:24 pm

Do you remember back in high school or college when you had this terrific guy that was hot and sexy in every way? He was simply perfect for you, or so you thought, so you were absolutely devastated when he dropped you. Nearly everyone has someone like this in their past. That’s not the part that can continue to be a problem in your current and future relationships, though.
The problem with these past loves is that over the years they tend to turn into fantasies. Now, fantasies are great for certain purposes. However, when you tend to let these fantasies build up in your mind over time, you’ve got such a picture in your head about what you must have as a partner that you’re not giving anyone a realistic chance to become a part of your life. It’s when you find yourself alone in life, romantically speaking, because you’ve allowed the fantasy boyfriend from the past to take over your life that fantasies become an issue.
These fantasies that keep you from meeting someone that could potentially be important in your life are totally unhealthy. No one should allow something that once was to take over their life in the present and prohibit them from having a future with someone. If you’re someone that has held onto a fantasy man of the past, you’re not doing yourself any favors by continuing this dream.
It’s never a good thing to keep reality at bay because of a fantasy man. If you continue to do this, you’ll never find the one that you’re meant to be with through the rest of your life. Think back to that past fantasy man and make yourself remember why the two of you split up. There was a reason and that’s what you must make yourself focus on if you’re to ever bring yourself into the present.
When you continue to hold onto a fantasy man of the past, you’ll be comparing every man you meet to him. Depending on how long you’ve been building him up in your mind, the fantasy may have become a fairy tale Prince Charming that no man will ever live up to. It also means that you need to work harder in order to get him out of your head. That man has most likely moved on to marry and have children. If it hasn’t been that long since the breakup, he may simply have just moved on to his next girlfriend. Either way, you’re no longer with him, and you need to keep that in mind.
When it comes to holding onto a fantasy, you need to understand that you’re setting yourself up to becoming the crazy cat lady that lives by herself in the house on the hill. Let go of that fantasy and allow a real man to come into your life for a genuine relationship. Fantasies are great when used in the right context. However, they can also be the worst things in the world if you choose to let them rule your life from now on.

Dating For Older People

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By , April 21, 2015 8:08 am

Dating is one of those things that teenagers and college students love to do, but there are a lot of older individuals out there that might want to start their lives up again and go out to have some fun from time to time. The younger generations always know the ins and outs of things like dating and where they can go to have all the fun they could handle. However, for those that are a bit out of touch from the dating scene, it might seem like a futile waste of time trying to figure it all out again.
Back in the day, it was all about going to a nice, relatively cheap place to eat, and a movie. That was a pretty good date not too many years ago, but these days you have to do something a bit different in order to make it unique and a bit more memorable. The good thing is that you can find all kinds of dating tips online for older couples to do that will make things a lot more fun in the long run. Just make sure that it’s something you will both enjoy doing.
When it comes to dating for the older generation, there are a lot of things that you have to keep in mind. Older people have already had a long term relationship and that means there is a bit of baggage that comes along with that. Of course, you will have some baggage as well and the person that you are going out on a date with is going to have to understand that, too. But there is no reason why the two of you can’t go out and have a lot of fun on a very memorable date.
Dating can be a very fun thing to do for the older generation, but it can also have plenty of headaches involved. Just finding a place to eat these days can be a headache all by itself, but the fun aspect of the date can really drive you crazy. There are so many different things that you can do when you are younger that you might not even have to plan the date out. You can simply hit a fun restaurant and then go where the tide takes you, but older people might not like doing all the things that the younger generation finds fun.
The best thing you can do is figure out what your date enjoys doing and work with that. There are plenty of places that you can go to have some fun, but most of them are going to be packed with young people that are loud and obnoxious. Now, that isn’t much of a date if you can’t even sit and talk to each other. So you are going to have to do your best to find somewhere to go that will give you the time and atmosphere you need to make sure that your date goes well and there aren’t too many interruptions.

Avoiding Abusive Relationships

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By , April 19, 2015 3:20 am

Something that happens all too often these days is the rise of abusive relationships. They’ve always been inexistence, but many years ago, people didn’t discuss them. Once you were married, you were married for better or worse. Too many times it was, indeed, the death of one of the spouses that parted them. It was the reason for the death that made the situation so outrageous and so sad.

It’s better if these types of relationships are never begun. Believe it or not, there are ways to avoid ever becoming a part of one. Granted, you can’t always tell if you’re getting involved with a lunatic. Many times they hide it very effectively until they have you firmly under their control. That’s when you’ll see their true colors. However, there are nearly always some kinks in their carefully constructed armor that you can spot if you let yourself see it.

The first thing you’ll probably notice is a control issue. This typically comes into play a little at a time. It may surface the first time when you’re dressing to go out and he subtly suggests that a different outfit looks much better on you, or that HE prefers you in the red dress rather than the black one. If you give into that one, he’ll do it over and over again. You may not notice that first control trick but you should definitely pay attention if he starts to dictate your wardrobe all the time.

Another thing that is also a control technique is when he starts trying to slowly isolate you from your family and friends. He’s usually smart enough to keep this to a minimum and use little things that keep you from realizing what his actual plan is. It may be something like telling you that he has a feeling that your parents, sister or your best friend doesn’t really like him. Even though you haven’t noticed anything yourself, when you care enough about someone you don’t want to believe that they’re lying to you. So you accept it as fact and put yourself on alert when you’re around the people that have been accused of not liking him.

Most likely, no one has ever said or done anything to make this guy think they don’t like him. He’s just trying to plant enough doubt in your head that you’ll believe only him and stay away from those people that “don’t like” him. This gets you right where he wants you: isolated and unprotected from whatever he may do to you next.

When you see these danger signs, it’s time to run, not walk, as fast and far as you can away from this man. It’s only going to get worse the longer you stay. The worst thing you can do is continue to stay involved with him under the impression that you can change him. That’s never going to happen. Things will only get worse the longer you stay. When you see any of these signs, it’s time to cut your losses and move on.

Getting A Guy To Kiss You

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By , April 16, 2015 10:28 pm

One of the most exciting events is that first kiss with a new guy that you really like. You would think that it would be one of the easiest things that would ever happen to you but, believe it or not, sometimes it’s a bit difficult to get that kiss you want. There are ways to make it happen, though, even if you’ve started to give up.
Remember that many guys are painfully shy and don’t want to risk rejection. Because of this, they won’t make the effort to kiss you even though they really do want to. However, you can do some things that will let your shy guy know that you want him to kiss you more than anything else in your life at that moment.
One of these things is continual light touching throughout your conversation. Don’t grab him or anything like that. Just lightly touch his arm, or his knee, if you’re sitting down. His hands are another encouraging place to touch him. What you’re doing is creating a cozy and friendly environment that will help him to understand that it’s perfectly fine if he kisses you.
Another thing that works often is to lean in and smile while looking directly into his eyes during a conversation. Now, don’t make it obvious what you’re doing, but let him understand that you do find him attractive and are drawn to him. He should get the message if your smile is sexy enough.
You may just have to drop some pretty strong hints with some guys. What sort of hints you use and how you communicate them will be up to you. Only you know the type of guy you’re with and what will work rather than scare him off. Just do what feels right.
Try working it into a conversation. For instance, ask him what sort of things he likes about you. That should lead him to asking you what things about him you find attractive. When he does this, it’s your cue to work in something about what a sexy and kissable mouth he has. He might just get what you’re saying.
There’s also the “Oh, I’m kind of chilly.” Move in closer to him and, hopefully, he’s considerate enough to offer you his jacket, if he’s wearing one. That gives you the perfect chance to have your face close enough to his that a kiss could easily happen. If he doesn’t offer you his jacket, or he’s not wearing one, continue to rub your arms up and down and move closer to him.
Of course, there’s always just taking the initiative and kissing him. Some guys just won’t do it the first time until they’re 100 percent positive that you’re not going to shoot him down. The only way that they’re going to be positive is if you kiss them. So, you’re just going to have to take the bull by the horn and do it. In that way, you’ll both know what that kiss may mean.

How A Rebound Relationship Can Work In Your Favor

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By , April 14, 2015 5:27 pm

If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.

Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

· Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.

· Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.

· Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

· Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

· Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.

What Does Your Kiss Mean

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By , April 12, 2015 12:39 pm

Kissing has been an act that has been in existence since the beginning of time. A kiss conveys many different meanings depending on the person delivering the kiss and what the intent is. There are kisses given in greeting by way of either air kisses or kisses on the cheek. These same kinds of kisses are also delivered upon parting. Then there are the kisses between relatives such as parents and children, between siblings, and other family members. These fall into another group.
Then, there are, of course, kisses of a romantic nature. It’s these kisses that you need to think about before delivering them to someone because they will have different meanings as well as intensities.
To begin with, there’s the First Date Kiss. This one is a kiss that you give someone you’re going out with for the first time. It’s usually given at the end of the evening but it can also happen at other times during the date. A kiss granted on the first date can show that you really like this person and had a great time. It also conveys that you would love another date.
Next, there’s the Make Out Kiss. These are the kisses that get really hot and heavy while sitting on your sofa, or wherever you’ve started the make out session. These kisses don’t have to lead up to a Happy Ending, but they definitely hold more promises than the First Date Kiss. Make Out Kisses can go on for many delicious hours. These are usually more popular with women than men because the men tend to use kissing as the means to an end.
Finally, there’s the Happy Ending Kiss. This is the most serious kiss of all because of the destination it promises. Happy Ending Kisses are deep and tongue involved. They can also become almost devouring as they heat up and build to the most passionate of encounters.
There are some occasions where all three of these kiss types happen in the same day. The First Date Kiss can lead into the Make Out Kiss, which is then followed with the Happy Ending Kiss. However, this is usually not recommended as you could easily end up with having no more kisses with that guy afterward.
What you need to convey to your date or the person you’re going to be kissing is which of these kisses you’re giving. Men may not always read signals very well because most of them only want the kiss to end one way, but if you make up your mind which kiss you’re giving, you can be sure that you leave no doubt as to where it will lead, or won’t lead, and what it means. It’s very important that you know which kiss you’re going to choose ahead of time. In that way, you can keep from giving the wrong impression and being accused of teasing because the way you choose to give your kiss will leave no doubt as to what your intentions are.

He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive

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By , April 10, 2015 7:25 am

If you are saying “he dumped me. How will I ever survive?” mere words in an article will not give you comfort. It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.

When you’ve been in the position that “he dumped me,” you have two fears. The first is that you will never recover from the pain. The second is that no one will ever love you again.

Take heart, dear. The fear is real. The pain is real. But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world. While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.

You still have friends and family who care about you. In fact, you now have more time to spend with them. Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life. You now have a chance to reconnect with them.

In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you. When you say, “he dumped me,” that allows them to be vulnerable about how they’ve been hurt. You will begin to see that your pain is not unique. You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.

In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life. Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn’t interested in them. This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.

If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby! No, really, when you say “he dumped me,” what you tell yourself is that you are worthless. When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.

There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with. The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop. For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors. A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life. A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.

As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you. You will make new friends who share a common interest. And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.

The truth is that you will find someone to date again. Your soul mate is out there.

Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.

And, always remember, the best revenge when “he dumped me” is moving on!

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