They Cheated – Now What

By , June 15, 2015 1:36 pm

These days, cheating is becoming a highly popularized hobby for people, especially younger folks who like to “play the field.” However, those who have been cheated on know that affairs are nothing to be taken lightly. They are extremely damaging blows to most all relationships. When an affair occurs, that’s usually it.
Some people wonder, though, young or old, if it’s possible to forgive your other half for infidelities. The fact of the matter is that whether you’ve been dating for almost a year, or have been married for a decade or two, the answer remains the same. The truth is that it’s complicated.
If you can forgive your lover for cheating on you, there are some complex feelings that still remain, and some problems that can still arise as a result of it all. For instance, you may be able to say you forgive them and stay in the relationship, but the doubt will stay in your mind. The only comfort you’ll ever feel in the relationship again is with complete disclosure of all meetings, plans, conversations, and whatever else applies. No privacy can exist between the two of you. This wouldn’t be as much of a feat to accomplish if you’re already married, but if you’re not, the clinginess and watchfulness would be enough to scare off nearly anyone.
In addition, if you can manage to forgive them, truly, it may be because you don’t fully love them, you’re too dependent on what they provide to lose them, or you consider yourself good for a freebie in the future. Many could argue that this kind of forgiveness isn’t true. You need to be aware that those relationships only end up failing later on down the line.
Now it’s not to say it’s impossible, but it’s unlikely that real forgiveness would be possible. There’s no harm in trying, though. A few couples may even grow closer together as a result, but the chances of this sort of thing improving a relationship are extremely slim.
If you need some help figuring everything out, remember that there’s nothing wrong with turning to a close and wise friend for some insight into your dilemma. However, if you want to really learn about what happened, try talking to your partner’s lover. Ask them about what happened and try to be as civil and mature about it as possible. If they should act unreasonable or trashy, then talk to your partner instead. Be blunt with your questions and hold out until you feel you have the truth. You can make the best decision in the matter with as much information as possible. Take all of the info you find and compile it together in your head, and you will be able to better assess the situation to come to an honest conclusion.
As a relationship is a personal matter between you and your significant other, no one else has the authority to tell you what is right or wrong. So, whatever you decide, just be sure it makes you happy.

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