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Its Not Nice To Tease

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By , October 30, 2015 11:54 am

With rape statistics so high these days, there’s a definite need to be cautious as to whom you’re dating or even just hanging out with. There seems to be even more date rape situations than ever before, or it could be that they just started to be reported more than in years past. Now, while anyone with any common sense of decency will never agree that it’s “right” to rape women, there’s something else that needs to be taken into consideration.

There are some women that are just born teases. That doesn’t mean that they deserve to be raped, but these women do seem to be the ones that the phrase “asking for it” will follow after them. It’s very important to dress and act so that you can get across the impression you want to convey. Many women that tend to tease men give the impression that they’re going to be giving away a lot more than just their scintillating company for the night.

Those are the women that usually find themselves in some trouble that they can’t handle at some point in time. That’s why women need to understand that the way they dress and act around men can, many times, make themselves appear more like hookers than women seeking a nice guy for dating and more. Now, women certainly have the right to dress any way that they want. However, they need to be prepared to be treated according to the vibes they give off.

For instance, if you’re dressed in something that hits you just below your backside accompanied by a top that’s so low that the only things NOT showing are your nipples, you can expect to be stared at. On top of that, if you hang all over men and continue crossing your legs to show them that you’re not wearing any underpants, you can expect them to figure that you charge money. Yet, these are the very women that get insulted when the guys they’ve been laying all over all evening suddenly suggest they go somewhere a bit more private like their place, the back seat of their car or even the stall in the mens room of the club.

If you’ve been basically throwing yourself all over a guy in that way all night, it’s safe to say that he’s convinced that you’re ready to have a simple one night stand with no strings attached. Now, you may or may not realize that you’ve been coming onto this guy but he certainly does. So if one night stands aren’t what you’re looking for, you need to revamp your strategy for winning a man. You can still dress a bit sexy, but you don’t need to make yourself seem like a loose woman or you’ll get the wrong kind of attention from the men you’re attracted to.

Remember that men don’t LIKE women that are teases. They resent being all revved up and having no place to go. Keep in mind that not only is it not nice to tease, but too many times that kind of behavior can land you in more trouble than you ever thought possible.

Easing Your Family Into Your Biracial Relationship

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By , October 28, 2015 6:43 am

It may be that segregation has been left in the dust from long ago, but there are still many people that continue to live in the past and clutch their biracial objections close their hearts. If you come from one of these families and have managed to avoid having their prejudices rub off on you; that’s commendable. However, it may be difficult to explain to your backwards family that you’ve met someone of another race from yourself and that the two of you are in a relationship. Most likely, you’ve been hiding this man from your family because of how you know they’ll react. Just don’t wait until you’ve set a wedding date before breaking the news to them, though.

As soon as you realize that this is a man that you see spending a long time with, maybe forever, it’s time to start planning your strategy as to how you’ll tell the family. One thing you can do immediately is start talking about him in glowing terms to your family. Tell them all about his great qualities as well as any significant achievements he’s made in life. A great career is also a good thing to mention. Your family needs to know how well you’re treated by this guy and how happy you are with him. At first, you’ll probably want to see where the relationship is headed before creating drama with your family. Just remember, though, that it’s better to not keep something like this a secret for too long, particularly if this is a man that may become your husband.

Start out by introducing your boyfriend to more rational and tolerant family members. Maybe they can help you with introducing him to those family members that are NOT so amenable and have sealed minds when it comes to anything out of the ordinary such as biracial dating. Put together a nice dinner or gathering somewhere and invite these family members to meet your boyfriend. Tell them beforehand about him and the fact that he’s of a different race than you. Also, re-emphasize the fact that he’s wonderful. You may also want to tell them that you’ve picked them to meet him first because you know they’ll be willing to get to know him without judging the two of you. If this meeting works out, you’ll have some allies.

A lot of times, your boyfriend’s winning personality will work alone to slowly win your family over. Something you may want to be prepared for, though, is that it may be that no matter how hard both of you try or how awesome he is, that there may be some family members that will never accept him. This may be something that you’ll just have to deal with. Try to understand that ignorance abounds these days, even among your family members, and do what you can to move into your happy future. Don’t let others judge your happiness. You should be allowed to have a future with the man that’s best for you no matter what his race.

Should I Tell Him His Flys Open On A First Date

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By , October 26, 2015 1:12 am

Everyone has those embarrassing moments in life. You simply can’t get around it. You know, like those times when your date‘s fly is open and you’re not sure if you should say anything or not. This one can actually be a bit tricky when you think about it. Say it’s your first date with this guy. Do you really want to tell him something quite as personal as this when you don’t even know him all that well? Will he appreciate it if you do say something? Is it right for you to let him go around everywhere that evening on your date with his fly open?
One of the things that you should go by when trying to resolve this dilemma is what sort of guy you’re dating. If he’s laid back and has a great sense of humor, you’re probably going to be fine in telling him that his fly is open. In fact, you’ll both probably have a great laugh about it. On the other hand, if the guy’s a bit shy or something, you probably want to find a different way to let him know that he needs to zip up his fly. However, no matter what you do, he’s probably going to die of embarrassment and you may never see him again.
Another one of those first date embarrassing moments is when your date has something huge and green caught between his front teeth. Do you say something or do you just let it go and hope he notices it on his own, eventually? Again, this is going to depend on the guy’s personality. Consider if it was you in that situation. Would you want to be told by a new date? Proceed accordingly when you think about it.
Then, there’s that perfectly natural, yet perfectly humiliating event of passing gas. Men typically don’t mind doing this in front of anyone, even new women that they’re dating. In fact, some of them will even call attention to it just in case you missed it and make raucous jokes about it. Obviously, these men aren’t going to mind if you discreetly cover your nose and mouth with your hand or napkin. Suppose you’re dating a man that’s rather self-conscious about things and he erupts loudly during dinner. Do you just keep talking and pretend that you didn’t hear the minor volcanic explosion? Do you giggle a little and make some cute remark, whatever that might be? This one is where you should simply follow his lead as there’s really no graceful way to get around it.
Yes, first dates can be very exciting and fun. They can also present some rather comical and embarrassing situations. You just have to figure out what you’re going to do if any of these happen to turn up on your first date with this guy. In the end, if you have doubts as to how to handle it, go along with the way the guy wants to deal with it. That seems to be the best answer.

Dealing With A Flirty Best Friend

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By , October 23, 2015 8:57 pm

Best friends are some of the most wonderful things to have in the world. You share secrets, go places with them, and just enjoy spending time together. Yes, having a best friend can certainly make life grand! On the other hand, having a best friend that seems to feel that it’s ok to flirt with your boyfriend can be rather a pain in the ass. This is especially true when the best friend in question is pretty hot looking and doesn’t mind using her looks to gain the attention that should be yours. It’s a touchy situation, for sure.
Now, you can, of course, rectify the situation by simply dumping the best friend. That’s not out of the question because, honestly, if she’s flirting with your boyfriend, she’s kind of showing the disrespect she has for you. After all, she is treating something that’s supposed to belong to you as if he’s hers. However, if you’re sure that you want to continue this friendship, there are some other ways to handle it.
The first one is also the most direct one. Sit her down and tell her that you don’t appreciate her flirting with your boyfriend. Don’t beat around the bush, either. Tell her that you can see what she’s doing and that you consider it very disrespectful of her to do that to you. Ask her how she would feel if you were to start flirting shamelessly with her boyfriend. Be sure let her know how serious you are about her needing to stop.
Another way to get your point across is by mimicking her behavior. In short, you start flirting with her boyfriend. Show her what it feels like to have her boyfriend hit on right in front of her. She’ll more than likely not appreciate it at all and will approach you about it. That will give you the perfect opening you need to make her see how she’s making you feel.
Something else you can try is confronting her right in front of your boyfriend and anyone else that may be around. If she’s being blatant enough for you to notice the flirting, chances are good that others have noticed it as well. This behavior may have even caused others to be embarrassed about it. So they’ll totally understand why you’re calling her out on it in front of them.
None of these are totally foolproof but they’re better than doing nothing at all. More than likely, your feelings for her are going to erode after so many instances of her flirting with your boyfriend so it will be easier to cut her out of your life. Before you make that decision, though, take a close look at how your boyfriend is responding to her attention. If he’s encouraging it, then he needs to go right along with your about-to-be ex-best friend because he obviously doesn’t know how to act in a relationship any more than your friend does. Drop them both and don’t look back.

Steps To A Happier Healthier Relationship

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By , October 21, 2015 3:23 pm

If you’re like most people, you probably set some New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of the year. You may have resolved to lose weight, exercise more, be more productive, or even change careers. There are so many different things that you can promise you’ll do to improve your quality of life. If you’re in a relationship, you may want to put making that relationship more open and honest at the top of your list. Many couples tend to just let their relationships take care of themselves and hope that the issues just take care of themselves. Then they’ll argue every day and start disliking each other.
Ignoring your relationship isn’t the best way to keep it going in a positive direction. If you want your relationship to be a happy one, you have to work on it. There are some things that you can do to keep your relationship going strong as well as continually happy. Have a look at these following tips to help improve your relationship:
Say the magic words: Telling your partner “thank you” and asking “please” shows them how much they’re appreciated. It also prevents you from taking them for granted.
Get physical: Grab your partner’s butt to show them how hot you think they are.
Kiss each morning: This promises to get your day off to a great start.
Greet each other with a “good morning”: Acknowledgement of each other daily shows how much you care.
Make time to cuddle: Physical closeness goes a long way to keeping warmth, excitement and love in a relationship.
Don’t isolate yourselves: Resolve to get out at least once a week together with family or friends.
Don’t over use pet names: When you use them too much, it can end up keeping you from taking each other seriously, which can damage your relationship.
Practice listening skills: Couples need to listen to each other as well as be able to communicate effectively.
Take turns doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher: Sharing chores can keep your relationship on equal footing.
Be honest: You should be honest with each other even when it’s not easy.
Play the Decision Game: When neither of you can decide which restaurant you want to eat at or what movie you want to see, one of you names 5 choices. The other partner vetoes 2 of these. The first partner then eliminates the last 2. Now you have your decision.
Respect each other’s private space: This is particularly important when you live together. Each of you should have a place to retreat to for a little while to have time to yourselves.
When you follow these simple steps to improving your relationship and keeping it happy, you’ll find that this was the best resolution of them all. You and your partner will continue to have a healthy relationship in which you can both feel comfortable and excited about. Also, when you really think about it, these steps are actually things that you should have been doing all along.

Getting Your Boyfriend Back

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By , October 19, 2015 10:44 am

Most breakups are terribly painful, particularly for the partner that didn’t want the breakup. Something that the partners left behind should remember is that not all breakups are permanent. Sometimes all it takes is a little effort and work to get your boyfriend to return to you. Actually, the renewed relationship can be even better than the original one.
Start by showing that you’ve learned something from past mistakes. Closely examine how things went the first time around and pay attention to the complaints your ex may have had about you. Most of these probably didn’t make sense to you, but there will be some that you’ll need to admit are valid ones. Forget about the complaints you didn’t understand and focus on the ones that you feel are justified.
Do things to make him remember why he loved you. Try to recall the person you used to be at that time and compare her to the person you were at the end of the relationship. The person you want to become again is the one that he fell in love with. Focus on reviving any positive attitudes that turned negative. Not only will you become attractive to your ex again, but you’ll become stronger and more independent.
Even though your breakup has been very hard on you, be a supportive friend to your ex. While showing him that you’re a bigger person than most by being able to do this, you’ll also be showing him that your support is limited to only that of a friend now. You should start ending phone conversations first because you’ve got plans. He’ll remember that was a time when he had all the support he needed from you.
Win over his friends and you may see a renewed interest from him. If you can get his friends to like you, they’ll start asking him how he could let someone like you slip through his fingers. That can also start him wondering the same thing.
Memories can also be a strong help. If you were together a while, you’ve probably got a lot of very wonderful and loving memories that you made together. Find ways to make him recall some of these without making it look obvious. You can do this by recreating certain events or activities that were a part of special moments in your relationship.
Of course, you should also look your best when you know you’re going to run into him. Be very positive, too, without overdoing it. Let your pleasant side come out so that he can see what he’s been missing. On the other hand, avoid making drunken phone calls to him.
Finally, make sure that getting him back is what you really want. You might be spending so much energy on getting back this ex-boyfriend that you’ve completely missed seeing that this amazing new guy keeps trying to get you to notice him. So consider this very carefully. After all, an ex is an ex for a reason. But if you still want him, then think positively and take action.

Stop Jumping From The Frying Pan Into The Fire

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By , October 17, 2015 5:33 am

So many people coming out of broken relationships do the one thing that they should never, ever do. They instantly rebound into another relationship before they’ve had time to possibly begin healing from the last one. There are so many reasons not to do this that volumes have been written to help people stop themselves before taking that leap.
One of the biggest reasons that this should be avoided at all costs is that you usually end up with someone very similar to the person you’re no longer with. What this translates to is that you’re going from one terrible relationship and diving headfirst right into another one. Since you’ve hardly had time to recover from that last relationship, you’re going to automatically be drawn to someone that reminds you of your ex. This can be from a physical standpoint, or the way he speaks, or certain mannerisms that he has that remind you of your ex. It’s not only possible to do this, but it happens all the time.
A couple of great examples of this were covered in episodes from two of the funniest sit coms of all times. Friends had Rachel dating a guy named Russ when she still very much wanted to be with Ross. Of course, these two looked, talked and acted identically because they were both played by actor David Schwimmer. Even though makeup was used to change the physical appearances somewhat, the actions were really similar. Everyone saw this except Rachel until it was pointed out to her what she had done. On the show Frasier, an actor closely resembling the character Niles was brought in as someone that Daphne hooked up with briefly. She never did see what she had done, but Niles certainly did.
This is all to make the point that you must be careful not to jump from the frying pan into the fire when you’ve just come out of a relationship. Give yourself the time you need to heal and fully move on from your ex. When you allow enough time to go by before re-entering the dating arena, you’ll find that it’s much easier to find someone that will not even come close to the man you left in the dust. You’ll be able to keep your eyes open for others that will intrigue you and tap into different parts of you.
When you reach the point where you’re able to be drawn to someone completely different than your ex, that’s when you’re ready to start dating again. Now, you can give yourself the chance to appreciate new qualities in men that might actually be better for you than your ex. You’ll see the differences and notice how they make your life happier. The problems in your past relationship happened for a reason. You certainly don’t want to repeat any part of that pattern in your new relationship. That’s why you just have to let things go, allow yourself to fully heal, and then move as far away from the past as you can.

Are You Sabotaging Your Own Love Life

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By , October 15, 2015 12:08 am

So you think you want to be in a relationship, yet nothing you do seems to turn out that way. When this keeps happening and there’s no visible reason for it, you may want to consider that you’re ruining things all by yourself. There are various ways that this can be done without you even seeing it.

For one thing, you always pick the wrong guy. It may be that you have Bad Boy Syndrome, which keeps you from ever choosing the right man for you. Do the guys you date all seem to treat you like something they’ve scrapped from the bottom of their shoe, yet you still stay? It may be that you give all the power in a relationship to every guy you get involved with, which means he dictates how the relationship will go. Maybe you zero in on guys that aren’t emotionally available or they just won’t commit. While these guys may be exciting, unpredictable and phenomenal in bed, they’re not going to stay with you, and you actually know that from the onset.

Another way that you’re putting obstacles in your path to true love is by staying in bad relationships too long. These are the ones where you KNOW you need to leave because you’re not getting what you deserve from it. The sad thing is that you come up with all the excuses in the world as to why you’re staying in the relationship. You tell yourself that it will get better or that he’ll change. Love doesn’t justify being unhappy. Yes, love is very important, but you need other things to make a relationship successful. Things like respect, compatibility, honor and communication are just a few. When there’s real love in a relationship, all of the rest will be there as well.

One of the biggest ways to sabotage your relationships is when you base your decisions from a place of fear. Rather than doing something because it’s what you want, you do it because you feel you MUST. You’re afraid that if you do what your intuition is telling you to do that you won’t have the relationship and life you truly want. You understand that by confronting things that upset you or make you unhappy, then you may have to make some hard decisions. So you clam up instead of speaking up. The important questions are avoided because you’re not sure you want to know the truth. That’s why you bury your head in the sand rather than acknowledging all of the warning signs around you.

The most hindering aspect of your fear is that you’re actually the one that’s afraid to commit to someone. Granted, commitment can be a rather scary thing because, after all, you’re pledging yourself to one man for the rest of your life. That’s enough to scare anyone. However, the thing to remember is that when you find the man that offers you everything you want in a relationship, you’ll be more open to putting away the fear and opening yourself to commitment.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

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By , October 12, 2015 8:01 pm

There are some women that just can’t seem to set the type of boundaries that they need in their relationships or even just for dating. Many reasons exist for this to happen, but what it comes down to is that a lot of women simply have trouble saying the word “no.” They have this problem even when they know what they want their boundaries and rules for dating to be. When it comes down to it, setting these boundaries take perseverance and willpower to be successful.
One reason to set and keep these personal boundaries is to boost your self-respect. These boundaries help you care for and protect your body, mind and spirit. They also give you the right to have equal footing in the relationship. In other words, if you want to have a successful relationship, the most important thing you can do is set some healthy boundaries.
One of the first ways that you can start to set relationship boundaries is to reflect on past relationships that you’ve had. Figure out what you would have done differently. Then list the mistakes that you made. You’re likely to find that most, if not all, of these happened because you let down on your boundaries. This should be a leisurely process so that you can identify the pattern of your behavior when it comes to relationships.
Next, you need to make a new list of healthy boundaries. Take the knowledge you gained from those past mistakes so you can initiate the changes you need to make now. Decide if you need to add any new boundaries to the list, including those of internet dating and social media.
Now, you need to prioritize your own well-being. In spite of how it may sound, this isn’t being self-centered or selfish. At least not in the way you would think. Don’t depend on another person to make what you need and want their first priority. That’s what you should be doing. In a healthy relationship, each partner is in control of their own happiness. You’ll also find that if you take care of yourself, others around you will also do so.
Last, but not least, you need to be open with your communications. You and your partner will each have ideas regarding what boundaries are needed to feel respected and safe. If there’s a problem of some sort, you must talk it over. You can’t allow it to just be swept under the rug without being dealt with. Your boundaries show a lot about your integrity and principles. If you can discuss personal boundaries together, you can create more intimacy within the relationship.
If you want your relationship to be healthy, you must have healthy boundaries. Each relationship must have some compromise, but you must never let go of what you feel is important just so someone will stay with you. When you maintain your own boundaries in relationships, those wrong men will fall to the side, leaving room for the right ones to come into your life.

Signs That Your Online Date May Be THE ONE

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By , October 10, 2015 2:20 pm

Online dating sites have become a huge business over the last few years for many reasons. Some of these dates that come from online contact have been very successful, even going on to culminate in a marriage while others continue to be one failure after another. Many people start feeling as if they should just give up. But before you do that, consider that there are some ways to tell if your online date might possibly be The One.
First of all, he’s not there one minute and gone the next. People online can be quite good at vanishing. You can be in the middle of a chat with him and he suddenly disappears without a word. There’s no contact for weeks and then he suddenly resurfaces like he just talked to you yesterday. If you’re chatting with someone that keeps up frequent and dependable communication, it’s a good thing. They’re probably not talking to anyone else and they’re ready to find someone that will be important to them.
Next, you both decide that you’re ready to meet at the same time. This means that you’re both on the same page and you’re ready to take that next step. There’s a great chance that, if you agree on when you should meet, you’ll agree on many other things as well.
You both start emailing each other regularly about little things that happen throughout the day. Not only that, but you’re both thrilled to get emails from each other. It kind of makes your day. This is great because the majority of life’s little details aren’t really all that important, yet you both love hearing about them.
Another promising sign is that both of you agree on how long someone should be single following the ending of a relationship. The timing also tells you how happy this person is with his life. A fulfilled person won’t feel it’s necessary to jump right back into a serious relationship, whereas an unhappy person will need to find another relationship as soon as possible.
You can share the serious aspects of your life and find humor in them. So what if your dad can’t seem to keep it in his pants and cheats on your mom constantly, and you have a cousin in jail for robbery? It really has nothing to do with you. Someone that gets that and can actually make you laugh about it is someone you definitely want to know better.
Both of you have the same ideas as to what a partner is. It doesn’t matter if you feel that a partner should be a best friend as well as a lover, as long as you both view it the same way, you should give him a chance. Talk this over a bit so you can be sure you’re on the same page.
Last of all, you both decide at the same time that you can delete those dating profiles because you feel you’ve met The One. This is, possibly, the most important sign of them all. You’ve both reached the decision that you only want to spend time with each other, and what could be more perfect than that?

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