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5 Tips for Solving Marital Money Issues

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By , December 31, 2017 1:06 am

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Most marriages have their financial ups and downs. It can truly be a test to your relationship with your partner in dealing with the downs in particular. Here are some tips to help you deal with these situations in the quickest and calmest way possible.

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Whether you and your spouse both work outside of the home, or one of you stays home with the children, it’s easy for one person to feel out of the financial picture. It’s important in a marriage to feel equal to your partner, on all levels of the playing field. Even if you don’t feel “stuck? it’s important for couples to communicate openly about their financial situation, and try to better it together.

Most marriages have their financial ups and downs. It can truly be a test to your relationship with your partner in dealing with the downs in particular. Here are some tips to help you deal with these situations in the quickest and calmest way possible.

1.) Pick the Right Time. Find a non stress time to sit down and have a discussion with your partner. Me and my husband love to go on evenings out, because it gives us a chance to discuss important issues in a non stress environment. If you must stay home, make sure the kids are not present during the conversation.

2.) Come Prepared. Write down the matters you have been thinking about beforehand so that you can stay on track during your discussion.

3.) Don’t Get Emotional. Avoid personal attacks towards your spouse. Use “I?instead of “you?when speaking. Don’t be argumentative and state how you feel. Don’t point fingers, and don’t start a fight.

4.) Take Turns. Common courtesy will help you achieve your goals. Feeling equal to your partner will come with a general respect between you and your partner.

5.) Make a Plan. Discuss the situation and future plans with your spouse. Make sure you have a basic budget in place and discuss you and your partner’s vital steps in your financial future. Compile a money to-do list and check your progress often.

Remember the love you have for each other during the conversation, and listen
Also to what your partner has to say during the discussion. If it seems to be a bad time in general to talk about it, remember that there will be another opportunity to let your partner know how you feel. Let it go, and pick a better time in the future.

Cheating Spouse: Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?

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By , December 26, 2017 7:51 am

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This article faces the ethical dilemma and some practical implications of spying on a cheating spouse.

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My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying.

Outrage can be intense: “How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don’t spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you. How could I love anyone that would do something like that to me?” On and on.

Cheating husbands and cheating wives usually will not admit the duplicity of their clandestine behavior. But you are made out to be the villain if you use detective work to discover the truth. It doesn’t make sense, but then again not much about infidelity borders close to sanity.

Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying the integrity of a relationship through spying? No, of course not. The integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the extramarital affair. The affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you made.

You saw clearly the signs of a cheating spouse. The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its protective boundaries. The marital infidelity broke the contract of the marriage; it was the act of betrayal. Spying does not damage the marriage. It is an attempt to seek the truth and resolve the pain and deception.

Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It’s intent is to find the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.

Choices In Wedding Music

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By , December 21, 2017 3:22 pm

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American weddings have come a long way over the years. In a society that is made up of people from so many different cultures, lifestyles, religions, and backgrounds, it is no surprise that the traditions in the wedding ceremony are as vastly different as well. Wedding music is no exception. From the ceremony itself to the party atmosphere of the reception, the wedding music sets the tone for the event.

American weddings have come a long way over the years. In a society that is made up of people from so many different cultures, lifestyles, religions, and backgrounds, it is no surprise that the traditions in the wedding ceremony are as vastly different as well. Wedding music is no exception. From the ceremony itself to the party atmosphere of the reception, the wedding music sets the tone for the event.

Traditional Wedding Music:

At most weddings we can expect to hear selections that have come to be known as traditional wedding music. Titles like Ave Maria, the Minuet from Don Giovanni, and, of course, The Bridal Chorus and The Wedding March have long been the standard music for a wedding. Particularly religious ceremonies may include hymns like Amazing Grace and a Jewish wedding almost always includes a hora danced to a medley of tunes like Hava Nagila, and Siman Tov U Mazeltov.

The traditional wedding music holds a special place in our hearts and many think that a wedding ceremony is incomplete without it. The couple must decide whether or not to use traditional wedding music in the ceremony, as well as how much of it to use. If this part of the wedding tradition is important to you, then traditional wedding music is the way to go.

Modern Wedding Music:

Often couples will forgo the traditional wedding music selections and instead include modern or popular music in the wedding ceremony. This practice is so common that some titles are becoming traditional wedding song selections themselves. It is not unusual to hear When a Man Loves a Woman, Always and Forever, or I Will Always Love You sung, performed, or played at weddings today. Often more modern titles like these will appear in a ceremony along with the more traditional wedding music.

Avant-Garde Wedding Music:

As people’s attitudes change and varying forms of wedding ceremonies take place, the choice of wedding music often changes right along with them. Occasionally couples will choose music for their wedding that reflects the stark difference in their personalities and makes a unique and bold statement. While your wedding ceremony is primarily for the couple getting married, it is important to remember that it is an event attended by your family members as well. While you may wish to make an impression on your guests with your choice of music, you should still be cautious not to offend your respective grandmothers. As such, a selection by an artist like Marilyn Manson may never be appropriate for a wedding ceremony. This does not mean that your wedding music choices are restricted to traditional classics or sappy love songs. I once attended a very avant-garde wedding where three couples married in the same ceremony. It was a beautiful event and was made memorable by their choice of music. The couples strode down the aisle to the sounds of Pink Floyd’s Signs of Life, an instrumental track from the album A Momentary Lapse of Reason. It was a wedding ceremony that I will remember forever.

Considering a Stag Do in Bristol?

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By , December 16, 2017 9:45 pm

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If you are organising a stag weekend, and are looking for a great party city, then why not weigh up Bristol. Bristol has everything to provide you for a fantastic stag weekend, in this historic port city.

Bristol, Stag Weekends, Stag Nights, Stag Parties, Stag Do, Stag Party

There are so many cities in the UK, that when it comes to choosing a stag party location, it can become a bit of a headache. What you need to look for is a city that is easily accessible for all your guests, has a variety of activities that you can keep the group content with during the day, has a range of evening entertainment that is accepting to stag nights and decent central accommodation that is not going to break the bank. Given that Bristol has all these qualities in profusion, it may be your ideal stag party location.

Bristol Stag Activities:
There are a substantial number of activity centres in close proximity to Bristol, which offers a variety of events wide enough to delight any taste. There are the usual stag party favourites such as karting, paintball games, quad biking and also one of the best clay shooting sites in the country. There is also some marvellous outdoor pursuit type activities such as climbing, abseiling, gorge scrambling and pot holing in some beautiful countryside just across the River Seven and into the Forest of Dean. Bristol is also quite unique in that there are also some climbing based activities, within the cities central district – based in the Avon Gorge.

Bristol Nightlife:
Bristol has a happening range of evening entertainment, with an extensive variety of restaurants, fashionable bars, and nightclubs which stay open until the early hours. Many stag nights, do a pub crawl along the recently rejuvenated quayside which is now exceptionally popular on a Friday or Saturday night. The Quayside is set just a short footbridge walk across from many of the marvellous hotels based in the cities central district.

Bristol Accommodation:
One of the marvellous things about Bristol, is the standard of accommodation that you can get for a comparatively cheap price. For the same cost that you would pay for a small budget two star accommodation in either Bournemouth or Brighton, you can get a substantial chain 4 star hotel based slap bang in the cities central district – literally a few paces from all the happening range of evening entertainment.

All in all, if you are looking for a stag party location that ticks all the boxes, then Bristol should be undoubtably on your shortlist.

Are You Married, Yet Lonesome Tonight?

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By , December 12, 2017 5:16 am

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You could feel a strange loneliness of the spirit even with your spouse right beside you. We delve into the world of loneliness in togetherness.

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In spite of being social animals, human beings are essentially lonely creatures. Our search for a life partner stems from a need to fill some deep void that each of us feels in the recesses of our soul. Marriage seems to be the key that unlocks the door and guarantees us release from our ‘solitary confinement’.

Well, so far so good. The first few years of married life are wonderful – a series of romantic attempts on the part of both parties to ‘complete each other’. The mantra seems to be ” You and I together – we don’t need anybody else. Honey, to hell with the world, we have each other.” But the very purpose of coming together appears to get defeated as the new couple tends to isolate itself in a world of its own. Instead of being lonely separately, now they are lonely ‘together’.

Slowly, of course, things changes some more, as in the want of all human relationships. After struggling to find and firmly establish a united identity, suddenly the couple struggles for individuality once again. Where is the I and Me within the Us and We of marriage? Well, you would have better luck looking for a needle in the proverbial haystack as by now “you don not give me enough time” has turned into “you do not give me enough space”! But it is no one’s fault. You see, that’s the nature of marriage. Each shrinks space. Your space. All space.

So you could be sitting in a large, decent size room, enjoying the view outside the window, when suddenly your better half enters. And then, it’s the same room, the same view except that it’s smaller now. It’s about half its size. But of course, you have to be married to know what I am talking about.

So loneliness, did you say? Within marriage? Honey, some days I get reduced to “just give me an hour of peace. And quiet. Alone. And don’t even call”. So forget it. In a ‘good marriage’, there is no scope for being lonely. Heck. There is no time for it. Not with kids. The word has almost dynasoric connotation. When were married women so blessed?

Considering Marriage Advice For The Newly-hitched!

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By , December 7, 2017 12:18 pm

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There’s a big step from engaged to married. It’s not just exchanging rings and wedding vows, it’s exchanging one lifestyle for another. Even as an engaged person you had a certain independence that meant you had some space of your own. There was a part of your day or night that you were your own person. In a marriage this more or less disappears completely.

No matter how much freedom you have in your marriage, how flexible the boundaries ?you still have to remember that t…

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There’s a big step from engaged to married. It’s not just exchanging rings and wedding vows, it’s exchanging one lifestyle for another. Even as an engaged person you had a certain independence that meant you had some space of your own. There was a part of your day or night that you were your own person. In a marriage this more or less disappears completely.

No matter how much freedom you have in your marriage, how flexible the boundaries ?you still have to remember that there is now someone else that you must keep 100% in your life-loop! If you’re going to be late from work, you need to make sure your husband/wife knows. If you aren’t going to be home for supper, they need to know. If you aren’t going to be able to get the dry cleaning on the way home, and it’s needed for the next day, they need to know so they can go get it! This is a major life change. At first it feels as if you are back answering to your parents! You may even rebel against the idea. But think about it for a moment. Your husband/wife always walks through the door at 6.52pm ?give or take 4 minutes. You have supper waiting on the table. At 7.20pm supper is cold, and they still haven’t arrived. 8.25pm when they walk through the door, you’re halfway through dialing the number for the local hospital because you’re sure something’s happened to them. They smile and apologize for being late but they got caught up in a last minute meeting. No thought to the anguish you’ve been through picturing them hurt or worse! You don’t want to be the one feeling this way, and so make sure you don’t do the same kind of thing to your beloved! Letting your partner know your schedule is a sign of consideration. Of acknowledging that this other person cares about you and will worry if you are not where you’ve said you’ll be at the time you said you’ll be there.

Gone too are the days when you could say “Sure, I’ll come for pizza tonight!?to work colleagues without even thinking about it. First of all you need to call your partner and tell them that this is what you’re planning, and making sure that they’re ok with it. Yes, I know, too bad if they aren’t, but they may have made other plans for the evening that you don’t know about and so it is worth checking first!

Consideration for your new husband or wife is the first and most important aspect of your marriage during the early days because it’s the thing that’s most difficult to adjust too. Is your music too loud? Does your partner want to watch a different channel? Do you take all the blankets in bed? Do you snore? You don’t check these things because you benefit, nor as a partner would you usually complain about them, but you do them because you want your marriage to be a partnership with two equal partners. If you argue about something, find common middle ground. There should be no power struggle if both parties respect each other enough to accept that both people are entitled to hold differing viewpoints. Don’t back down from confrontation, don’t press forward your advantage, be considerate towards each other and negotiate a situation you can both agree to.

In the early weeks and months of marriage, you’ll find many things new and sometimes not exactly the way you thought they’d be, but if both parties add consideration to their menu of love, trust and respect, then married life will soon settle down and you’ll become accustomed to doing things without resentment or obligation. You’ll do them because you want too.

Common Marriage Problems – Jealousy

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By , December 2, 2017 6:44 pm

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Jealousy in marriage is destructive, a real relationship killer and one of those common marriage problems that needs to be resolved.

In you let feelings of jealousy develop and escalate the mind will run wild, imagine the enemy around every corner, question everything your partner thinks, says and does. In worst case scenario’s unresolved and unchecked jealousy has developed beyond the end of a relationship, into a long-term vendetta and in extreme cases extended to the lo…

Jealousy in marriage is destructive, a real relationship killer and one of those common marriage problems that needs to be resolved.

In you let feelings of jealousy develop and escalate the mind will run wild, imagine the enemy around every corner, question everything your partner thinks, says and does. In worst case scenario’s unresolved and unchecked jealousy has developed beyond the end of a relationship, into a long-term vendetta and in extreme cases extended to the loss of life.

As much as we would like to deny it, most people struggle with jealous emotions at some point in their lives and, in marriage, it is a one of those common marriage problems that can develop from feelings of insecurity or neglect.

We now live in a society where marriages are often as a result of a second, a fifth or any number of relationships and are, in many cases, second or subsequent marriages. This is just society as we now know it but it can leave spouses insecure, especially when a previous partner is still around, and particularly in the case when children are involved.

People can enter into marriages with so much previous baggage that it often hard to settle into a secure, trusting environment full of self worth and self-belief.

Marital jealousy develops from numerous situations and no matter how much you try and tell yourself there is no need for concern your mind just doesn’t listen and all the while your partner continues with the behaviour that is instilling the feeling of insecurity throughout your very soul.

?Some people are natural flirts who draw the opposite sex like magnets, which, once the ring is on the finger, leaves partners totally insecure and just waiting for the moment when they are dumped for the next person that comes along. The partner who flirts often has no idea what impact their actions have on their relationship. They don’t actually believe that they are doing anything wrongs but perceive their actions to be friendly and not harmful.

?No one could ever be accused of being unnecessarily jealous in the case of infidelity beyond which, if the marriage survives (and in many instances they do), strong measures need to be put in place to enable the cheated partner come to trust their partner again and control the feeling of jealousy.

?Following the break up of a marriage children need to feel that the split isn’t as a result of anything that they have done. This leaves parents over protective, desperate to make amends for one parent environment and often at the expense of new relationships.

?Another of the common marriage problems is that husbands feel neglected when a new baby arrives no matter how much they wanted the child in the first place. A baby’s mere existence is totally life changing with more attention towards the child and a complete ‘nose dive?in marital relations. With the bond between mother and child being that much closer it can leave fathers feeling neglected, unwanted and a total spare part.

With friends of mine the jealousy actually worked the other way with the wife feeling totally trapped after the birth of their first child and her husband spending all his time looking after the baby. She just yearned for the life they had prior to children when they enjoyed a good social life and spent all their free time together.

?Too much time at work can leave your partner feeling very insecure, especially when your hours at work increase and you spend less and less time at home for the sake of your family but if we think about it is it really for the sake of the family?.

People get fixated on their goals and have no concept on how this is perceived or how it impacts on their relationship and their family life.

Without the 100% backing of both parties, long hours and continuous travel can prove to be a real relationship killer and, if left unchecked, one of those common marriage problems from which there is no return.

The list is endless and jealousy in and of itself is not a bad thing, it’s strong indication that you really care. The main thing we need to remember is not to let the jealousy consume, arouse fury and become destructive.

If you are suffering from feelings of jealousy look at the cause, question your feelings and determine whether they have any foundation. Is your partner actually doing anything wrong, have they really done anything to drive your jealous emotions or have you just let your emotions spiral out of control.

If the fault is on your side, learning to recognise the fact is the first step towards controlling such an emotional and destructive thought process. It allows you to discuss your fears with your partner, explain how you feel and seek there help in enabling you to over come your jealous emotions, strengthen your marriage and build a more solid foundation for the future.

Communication is the foundation to marital success. If you can learn to communicate then you can express your emotions in a non-confrontational, non-accusatory, understanding and supportive environment.

Don’t just blurt your fears out such as ‘I think you are having an affair?it might not be true and it will just add fuel to the fire. Explain that something seems to have changed in your relationship, explain what has changed and what makes you think your marriage is different, don’t blame, don’t get emotional just explain to your spouse what is going through your head and seek their help in trying to sort it out.

One of the most common marriage problems is expecting our partners to always know what we want and how we feel. But even with a ring on our finger we aren’t always mind readers, if we haven’t communicated our feelings and our partner doesn’t know they have, in our eyes, done something wrong, how do we expect them to do anything about it!

Tell them now, save your marriage before its too late. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Even if the answer isn’t what you want to hear knowledge is power and with knowledge comes the ability to turn your life around.

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