Are You Married, Yet Lonesome Tonight?

By , December 12, 2017 5:16 am


You could feel a strange loneliness of the spirit even with your spouse right beside you. We delve into the world of loneliness in togetherness.

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In spite of being social animals, human beings are essentially lonely creatures. Our search for a life partner stems from a need to fill some deep void that each of us feels in the recesses of our soul. Marriage seems to be the key that unlocks the door and guarantees us release from our ‘solitary confinement’.

Well, so far so good. The first few years of married life are wonderful – a series of romantic attempts on the part of both parties to ‘complete each other’. The mantra seems to be ” You and I together – we don’t need anybody else. Honey, to hell with the world, we have each other.” But the very purpose of coming together appears to get defeated as the new couple tends to isolate itself in a world of its own. Instead of being lonely separately, now they are lonely ‘together’.

Slowly, of course, things changes some more, as in the want of all human relationships. After struggling to find and firmly establish a united identity, suddenly the couple struggles for individuality once again. Where is the I and Me within the Us and We of marriage? Well, you would have better luck looking for a needle in the proverbial haystack as by now “you don not give me enough time” has turned into “you do not give me enough space”! But it is no one’s fault. You see, that’s the nature of marriage. Each shrinks space. Your space. All space.

So you could be sitting in a large, decent size room, enjoying the view outside the window, when suddenly your better half enters. And then, it’s the same room, the same view except that it’s smaller now. It’s about half its size. But of course, you have to be married to know what I am talking about.

So loneliness, did you say? Within marriage? Honey, some days I get reduced to “just give me an hour of peace. And quiet. Alone. And don’t even call”. So forget it. In a ‘good marriage’, there is no scope for being lonely. Heck. There is no time for it. Not with kids. The word has almost dynasoric connotation. When were married women so blessed?

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