Category: Ex Back Experts

7 Warning Signs That She is Not Interested in You Anymore

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By , September 18, 2020 1:16 am

427

To break up a relationship is a harder decision
when we talk about a long term one. In most cases
when woman is no longer interested in a
relationship she doesn’t want to be the one to
end it.

dating, online dating, seduction, love, romance, relationshis, marriage, foreign brides

To break up a relationship is a harder decision
when we talk about a long term one.

In most cases when woman is no longer interested
in a relationship she doesn’t want to be the one
to end it. But even when she is already made the
decision to break it up, she will take some time
to give you some signs to prepare you, before she
tells you.

If you feel that something is going wrong it is
time to take a closer look at your relationship.
Here are seven warning signs she is no longer
interested:

1. This is probably the most classic subtle
signal of all: her life become too hectic. She
hasn’t picked up the phone for a few days and
when she does, she is busy and pretending that
she doesn’t have time to met you. This isn’t
necessarily a sign that it is over, but if you
are used to meet her frequently then there is
something wrong.

2. Eventually, when she decided to spend some
time with you she keeps looking around to find
something to do or someone else to talk to.
However, when a woman is interested, she puts in
the effort by giving you her full attention.

3. She’s secretive and no longer wants to tell
you where she has been or who was on the phone.

4. Don’t forget that women love to talk. If she
doesn’t ask you questions and shows no interest
in what you have to say and when you ask her
questions she limits her answers to “yes” and “no”
she has a problem. Can it be the relationship
with you?

5. Is she causing arguments over stupid little
things? If nothing you do or say isn’t right
anymore and all that goes wrong is your fault you
can start to worry.

6. She refuses the presents you make. Women love
to get presents, so if she turns yours down, she
can feel guilty because she is thinking to break
up with you, especially if you know she was about
to buy that thing for herself.

7. She talks about divorce or break up of other
people relationship, as a positive thing. Maybe a
friend of her just has braked up with her
boyfriend and now she is doing much better.

In the game of romance, few things are black and
white. Most of the points above are assumptions
based on commonly used techniques. There is room
for interpretations and misunderstandings but all
this can make you wonder if everything is ok and
discuss the problems you might have.

Anniversary Ideas For Everyone

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By , September 15, 2020 4:13 am

439

Are you about to celebrate a special anniversary with the one you love? Whether you have been together one year or fifty years it is important to celebrate the day in a special and memorable way. Sometimes, as much as you want to bless the one you love in a unique way, it is hard to come up with great anniversary ideas. One of the best ways to think of ideas can be to take a look back through the years of your relationship.

You will be surprised by how many perfect annive…

anniversary ideas

Are you about to celebrate a special anniversary with the one you love? Whether you have been together one year or fifty years it is important to celebrate the day in a special and memorable way. Sometimes, as much as you want to bless the one you love in a unique way, it is hard to come up with great anniversary ideas. One of the best ways to think of ideas can be to take a look back through the years of your relationship.

You will be surprised by how many perfect annivesary ideas you come up with simply by remembering special parts about the earliest parts of your time together. For instance, can you remember back to the first date the two of you shared? If so, try to recreate the date over again as a way of celebrating how far you’ve come. If you are still in the same city this kind of anniversary idea will be much easier to pull off.

Do you remember the first song the two of you danced to or the first film you saw together? Great anniversary ideas are sometimes as simple as renting that first film again or tracking down that old love song and dancing to it again. You will bless and probably surprise your special someone by your planning and the creativity you put into making great anniversary ideas happen.

Brainstorming other anniversary ideas can be easy when you simply think about the things that you and the one you love enjoy doing together. Consider planning a getaway weekend to an area that you have both wanted to visit. Or take your special someone on the cruise they have always wanted to go on. Be extravagant and do everything you can afford to make sure your anniversary is special. Do you love to hike and spend time in the mountains? Perhaps the best anniversary ideas for you would include a camping trip or renting out a cabin in the mountains that you love. Look for ways to incorporate things you already love to do together.

Celebrating anniversaries can be one of the best ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship. When you remember where you have been and all of the hard times that you have gotten through together it will be easy to celebrate a variety of anniversary ideas that come to your head. And perhaps the most important thing to remember as you try to gather and narrow down anniversary ideas is that in the end all that will matter is that you and the one you love get to spend quality
time together.

Are You Getting Cheated – Try This Quiz

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By , September 12, 2020 7:26 am

307

Cheating by a partner is something that destroys us. Many times, we are not sure that our partner is cheating us. That uncertainty troubles us so much that we do not know how to relate to our partner. We live a very painful life during that period. We don’t want to do injustice and don’t want to tolerate injustice. But we do not know the truth. Find out if your partner is cheating you with this quiz.

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So you think that your partner might be cheating you? Why do you think that? Why not try this small quiz and find out the truth? A quiz is always very helpful in finding the truth. The quiz questions are simple such as- Does your partner not love you? Does he/she not share the expenses? Do they look at others and try to give flirting signs even if they are with you? Are they keeping relations with their ex even now? Or is it just a felling that you are being cheated either physically or emotionally? Let us take this quiz and find the truth.

Quiz sixth sense-

Many times, the feeling that we are being cheated is itself an evidence of something going wrong. Our sixth sense tells us that. Our conscious mind may fail to take the hints but the subconscious will do. So while taking this quiz don’t ignore the inner signals.

Quiz cheating patterns-

Did you find your partner talking to somebody on phone and then disconnect the phone as soon as they saw you? Is your partner wary of sharing the mail password with you? Are you finding that their cell phone bills are more than normal? Do they go out without informing you and make some excuse when you ask? Are any outside business trips involved? What about late work at the office? Or unscheduled work related meetings? Do they look at you eye to eye while talking? Or avoid talking and walk around while talking? Do you hear telephone bell and when you pick up the phone, line goes dead?

Quiz and get the truth-

These are some of the signs that something might be wrong? Not necessarily cheating. Why not quiz your partner and find the truth? Quizzing point by point will surely tell you the truth.

6 Ways To Get Your Ex-Back In 3 Days

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By , September 9, 2020 10:00 am

624

We make relationships to enjoy life. Even it
perhaps a lot of sacrifices to keep a
relationship and to make it work, many of us
prefer to make these sacrifices just to have near
the person we love and like to spend time with.

dating, online dating, flirt, seduction, relationships, romance, marriage, foreign brides, single parents

We make relationships to enjoy life. Even it
perhaps a lot of sacrifices to keep a
relationship and to make it work, many of us
prefer to make these sacrifices just to have near
the person we love and like to spend time with.

Sometimes it happens that a relationship ends
even that there is still love between the
partners. This happens when one of the partners
makes some regular mistakes and has a bad
behavior towards the other. But usually the one
who is guilty for ending the relationship are men
who figures out too late how much it cares about
the other and wants to change only after lose her.

There is nothing worst that being dumped by the
one you love and believed was “the one”. Trying
to get a woman back in to your life is difficult.
If you lost your true love because of you and
really want to get her back, don’t desperate.
Your situation is not necessarily hopeless.

At some point in life, we all lose something that
we really wish we held on to – in this case, you
lost your love and you need to get your ex back.
Getting back together with your lost love is not
about “getting?them back or even relationship
repair. It’s about wining them back. Winning them
back implies a few important things semantically.
It implies effort from your part.

First off all call her and tell her that you
really want to see her. If she wants to take
lunch with you make it so your ex notice that you
are changed, that you thought about why did she
leave you and she had right because there are
many reasons why she left. Apologize sincerely.

If she doesn’t want to talk to you by not picking
up the phone when you call her, just surprise her
by waiting in front of the office where she works
and offer to walk her home when her program in
over. But before assure that she is not having a
boyfriend yet, because it might happen that
someone else is waiting for her so your chance is
ruined.

Act like you just starting dating, make her feel
special. Be honest, and tell her that you still
love her. Use the past to your advantage and let
her know that anyone deserves a second chance,
that things will be different now. Do not stalk
her; she might think that you are very desperate.
Just tell her that you are ready to make your
relationship a priority in your life.

If you can get a date with her, be positive,
laugh and smile. Make her feel good. Subtly touch
her when she’s talking. You must raise the level
of attraction between the two of you, if she
still loves you; you know that she has a weakness
towards you.

If she didn’t fall into your arms after your date
don’t give up. Call her often and just tell her
how you feel. Also you can make something special
for her, like sending flowers and buy her gifts.
Don’t forget about anniversary and birthday.

E-mail her and let her know that you are
available any time if she wants to have a date
with you. Also assure her that you don’t frequent
another girls and she is the most important for
you.

Be yourself, show her that you don’t play games
and your intentions are very serious. Also, don’t
be jealous if she had a date with another guy if
she is now ready to get back with you and
renounce to the other guy.

With this ways, a little luck and your personal
charm you can get your girlfriend back faster
than you think.

Are You Attracted To The Wrong Sort Of Man?

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By , September 6, 2020 1:11 pm

660

How often have you said to a your friends, “I always seem to pick guys who are bad for me.?
According to Hypnotherapy specialist Roderick Piggott, women who experience a series of broken and unequal relationships, are often suffering from issues of low self-esteem and poor self-image. This causes them to choose the wrong partners again and again.

Low self-esteem can really impact negatively on a persons quality of life, making them feel that they don’t deserve love an…

Hypnotherapy,relationships,advice,self esteem,self confidence

How often have you said to a your friends, “I always seem to pick guys who are bad for me.?
According to Hypnotherapy specialist Roderick Piggott, women who experience a series of broken and unequal relationships, are often suffering from issues of low self-esteem and poor self-image. This causes them to choose the wrong partners again and again.

Low self-esteem can really impact negatively on a persons quality of life, making them feel that they don’t deserve love and respect and are not fit to enjoy a proper, fulfilling relationship. Motivation levels can sink, leaving them feeling low and robbing them of any enthusiasm.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, you blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault; you underestimate your abilities, and you expect things to go wrong for you. Often, low self-esteem is associated with a range of other problems, such as lack of confidence, depression, anxiety, stress and jealousy. If you feel that your opinions and thoughts are worthless, you will find yourself unable to connect or communicate effectively with others, which can become a real issue. This can be picked up by partners, leading to a shift in the balance of a relationship, turning it into something that is unequal and disadvantageous to the weaker partner. Frequently this leads to an abusive relationship and often the cycle is repeated many times.

It simply may not be the “wrong?man that you choose, it is very probable that a partner will become frustrated and lose respect. Attitudes then change taking the relationship off course.

There are many things that might happen in life that can cause low self-esteem. It could be a traumatic childhood, maybe a respected figure in your life belittled you, perhaps failure at a career or at school, or even a lack of social life or friends. Whatever the causes, it is important to try and get your life back on track and get over these feelings of worthlessness for the sake of yourself and those around you. These negative emotions can reflect in everything you do and say, and can start to affect your whole life.

Women who realize that they need self-esteem help are often too embarrassed to admit to anyone that they have a problem, however many sufferers of low self-esteem are benefiting from hypnotherapy treatments at home, which can literally change peoples lives for the better.

Even though you may want to change the way you feel, to be confident in your thoughts and ideas, to have a sense of faith in your own abilities and know consciously that you are worthwhile and respected, your emotional subconscious mind knows different. Your mind goes back to your deepest insecurities, together with the emotions that are held alongside those memories. Your beliefs are accessed. Your conscious and subconscious mind is in conflict. The subconscious mind wins, every time because your emotions rule. You can change your beliefs by changing your emotions. Hypnosis can do this. And it is easy.

Hypnotherapy treatments work in a very natural way, People are constantly capable of change, which can happen more powerfully in an altered state. In this altered state, which we call hypnosis, suggestions to the sub-conscious mind can supply us with the feelings and emotions that go with imagination and creativity to bring about changes within your feeling system, your emotional system, and this can change your values, perceptions and beliefs. It’s what makes hypnosis an incredibly powerful means to achieve your dreams.

Your subconscious mind has the power to end your struggle with your low self-esteem. Your life will improve if you begin to believe in yourself and your abilities, you will feel respected, giving you that extra boost to increase motivation, and your enthusiasm will increase noticeably. Some people say it feels like magic because it is so easy to make powerful changes. Hypnotherapy simply allows you to access the resources you already have in your subconscious mind.

Being Successfully Single Until the Right One Comes Along!

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By , September 3, 2020 3:49 pm

573

Our planet is brimming with a random lottery of people; undeniably though, finding true love can be considered a risky business. Love is supposed to be a beautiful feeling with lots of happy thoughts emanating from the whole package of being in love, so why is finding true love is considered a difficult challenge?

singles, romance, dating, soulmate, relationships

Our planet is brimming with a random lottery of people; undeniably though, finding true love can be considered a risky business. Love is supposed to be a beautiful feeling with lots of happy thoughts emanating from the whole package of being in love, so why is finding true love is considered a difficult challenge?

Is finding love really so hard though? Or do we just make it hard? Finding love is not hard, but sometimes it takes a long time. So if you are single now, and I assume that you are, then you are likely goint go be single for awhile.

Here are some advantages of being single:

1. You are independent Basically you can do what you want when you want. You don’t have to wait, you don’t have to ask, you can just go.

2. You have more time When you’re single; you don’t have to sit around doing nothing. Want to go to the gym? Want to join the hiking club? Play an instrument? How about watch your favorite video for 10th time? Want to take a course? Learn a new hobby? Who’s stopping you?

3. You don’t have to deal with another’s personal habits You can sleep without listening to someone’s snoring and hog all the blankets all the time and nobody cares. You don’t have to pick up after anyone but yourself. And you don’t even have to pick up after yourself if you don’t want to. Give your patience a well-deserved break.

4. You can be spontaneous Be daring! Do what you want when you want to and who cares if you don’t get to dinner until midnight? Do something out of the ordinary, without having to get permission first or calling ahead. This is freedom!

5. You can focus on your career You can channel your energy into your work. Without a relationship, you have a lot more time. Put in those extra hours and impress your boss, or take on new projects.

6. You are your own boss Relationships need compromise and you don’t always get your own way. Both people in a relationship have to give something up for the greater good of the relationship. Do what you want and treat yourself more. Selfishness is good for the soul (in small doses).

Don’t stress! That special someone is out there and you can and will find them. It just takes time.

In the meantime, enjoy being single. In fact, I believe that if you can’t be happy being single, you will never be happy with your soulmate! Kind of like rich and poor. There are lots of poor people who are happy and lots that are unhappy. Same with rich people — lots are happy and lots are unhappy. Now what do you think would happen if we took a poor who was unhappy, and gave them lots of money?

You guessed it! They would probably be happy for a short time, but it wouldn’t last and eventually they would be just as unhappy as they were.

Ever wonder why that is? Being happy comes from inside of you not outside. OK, you are single — enjoy yourself and that special person will come along before you know it!

I hope that you have found this article useful in your search. If you would like to more about finding your soulmate, please visit my website Soulmate Secrets.

“You are killing US with YOUR jealousy”

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By , August 31, 2020 7:34 pm

942

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.

Women,woman,esteem,self,confidence,jealous,issues,help,group,free,abuse,sexuality,beauty,ugly

So far I have enlightened the world with my thoughts on jealousy and self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that may have some male people thinking that I am targeting only women here. Jealousy and self-esteem issues also can imprison men as well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions. Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two victims here, not just one.

I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also suffers.

A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are effected. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free that side first, then we can help heal the other.

Well I am now going to share that persons prison of hell as well.

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.

Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone else. When they try to tell you that it is all in your mind, they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a vicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some times it takes a few days, some times it drops immediately. Never the less they have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They fear we will get even more depressed and irrational with what they say to us. They begin to feel, “damned if they do, and damned if they don`t”. I personally hate that feeling. To think that I myself would put someone in that position makes me want to run away faster than Forrest Gump.

The neglect you put on that person through your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones that really do not ever do anything to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their issues and have began to deal with them, please remember the other person that is there with you. They too need special attention, because they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache. Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you, it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is, that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they are being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves you as much as you love them, and to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling all the way around.

Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what exactly you are feeling.

I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being torchered and killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to do…HUGGGGGG!!!!

One thought from my heart to yours:

Say this outloud:

“I am always ready to risk.
I am always ready to learn.
I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my worries aside and just live!”

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

Baggage Handling – And Not The Kind You Take On Vacation!

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By , August 28, 2020 10:06 pm

622

My friend Susan, a beautiful, intelligent and successful professional single, recently announced that her tumultuous 6-month relationship was over. “He’s got too much baggage and I don’t know how to handle it”, she explained over a skinny decaf latte at our weekly hangout session. So how much baggage is too much, and when do we hang out the “overloaded” sign?

baggage handling, relationships, relationship issues

My friend Susan, a beautiful, intelligent and successful professional single, recently announced that her tumultuous 6-month relationship was over.

“He’s got too much baggage and I don’t know how to handle it”, she explained over a skinny decaf latte at our weekly hangout session.

So how much baggage is too much, and when do we hang out the “overloaded” sign?

It’s a fact of life that any man over the age of 30 is going to bring some sort of baggage to a relationship. Heck, I know 20-year-olds with more baggage than the Orient Express!

And it follows that the older we get, the more likely it is that the baggage is going to exponentially increase — ex wives, children, stepchildren, in-laws, lifestyles or commitments, just to name a few. But it’s not about how much baggage he has, it’s more about how he (and we!) deal with it.

Kathryn Bigelow, behavioral scientist and director of the Burnett Behavioral Science Unit at Sydney University in Sydney, Australia says, “Baggage is merely a name for our collective past experiences. What we do with our history and how we manage it is a clear indication of how we will deal with current and future experiences.”

So back to my friend Susan. Her difficulty was in trying to deal with her partner’s obvious inability to let go of past relationships. According to her, this man wanted to remain friends with every woman he had ever gone out with. At least twice each week he would arrange to meet up with at least one of his ex’s for a coffee, or whatever. For Susan, her gripe was how to get his ex’s to exit – permanently.

According to Dr Bigelow, here is a list of ways to put the baggage down and get on with life:

*Take a good hard look at what you expect from a relationship and a partner. Then list the absolute essentials. The rest is baggage that needs to be discarded.

*From the list of essentials, try to imagine what it would be like to go without one of your “must-haves” for a day. How would you feel? Then try to imagine letting go for longer. The less demanding we are of ourselves and others, the less baggage we accumulate.

*Take a good hard look at who you are – yes, who you really are. Do an honest appraisal of your good and bad points and decide what you would like to change. Then imagine what it would be like if you could rid yourself of that trait for a day. Then try to imagine how much more space you would have in your life if you could let go of one of your negative qualities for good.

*Don’t take yourself too seriously. OK, you’re not 20 any more, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. Think about the traits you have that annoy you, or other people, and try to find something funny about them. Creating a humorous side to a bad habit or trait can help diffuse it.

*Be your own best friend and don’t beat yourself up about things that happened in the past. The past is in the past, so there’s no point in worrying about things you can’t change.

*Let go of the anger, resentment or guilt that you may be holding on to. You’ll be amazed at how much lighter you’ll feel!

We all know how cumbersome it is travelling with excess baggage, and the costs it can incur, so the object is to travel through life with just the right amount of baggage to travel well, but happily.

Dating online without becoming pray for scammers

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By , August 26, 2020 12:53 am

497

Online scammers mainly aim at people of different income levels, backgrounds and ages throughout the world. There is not any specific group which is more prone to become a prey of a scam. The practice of Scamming is successful because it looks like real.

Right Lover, Dating, Date Ideas, Love

Online scammers mainly aim at people of different income levels, backgrounds and ages throughout the world. There is not any specific group which is more prone to become a prey of a scam. The practice of Scamming is successful because it looks like real. It seems to fulfill your desire and needs. Scammers always attempt to mould you by inducing your nature to create the automatic reply they need. Here are few tips how to identify and avoid scammers at online dating sites.

1. Be cautious in the dating online scene. Use your emotional intelligence. If you have an ok profile without a personal photo on any dating website you will rarely ever get any answers from females. If you get lots of love letters from attractive good looking woman, you should think yourself: Would you be able to step into love with the profile you made that fast? What is there that could make her fall in love that quickly?

2. The first thing that creates an impression that the person who is communicating with you is a scammer is the mails. Scam letters are sent to a lot of people, are very neutrally, impersonally made for bulk use. The scam-emails can often be used for both the sexes, male and female. They will mention to you that they liked your pictures or description although you don’t have a self description or photo on internet. Scamming artist fall quickly in love, they will address you very quickly sweetheart, darling, baby or love honey.

3. If anyone is interested in you will get a number of questions detailed about your hobbies, life, before the individual decides to meet you. A scammer artist never asks you regarding your personal details. They will use to talk in general manner: How was your day? How is everyone at home? How are you today? Scamming letters are often a different thing from what you mention to them. If you discuss about particular your things, they will not even remember one week later and keep on saying that the season is ok.

4. If you try to keep in contact for few months and if your date shows great interest and pretends to be willing to spend his entire life with you, ask yourself why is he/she still searching for online love? People who love somebody, will quickly delete their own profile from the dating website, since it’s not a big issue to post a new addition if they become single again. If you view your lover still online, you can make a new contact id as a new user from a separate email address and check what reply you get. If your mate is willing to come to you and loves you like anything, you should not get him/her two times.

5. Never send any money for tickets and visas! Go to the person’s place or country and visit him/her there. Use well-established, trustworthy marriage or dating agencies for arranging and meeting trips.

Communication Is Vital For A Healthy Relationship

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By , August 23, 2020 3:54 am

1283

When people are told that they need to communicate more they often think that that is an open invitation to talk but there is a complete difference between talking and communicating.

Communicating is an art, and art of combining the ability to express your opinions and feelings in such a way as to ensure that the person or people you are talking to understand what you are trying to say with the ability to listen and understand another person’s point of view.

The number …

Relationships,infidelity,save your marriage

When people are told that they need to communicate more they often think that that is an open invitation to talk but there is a complete difference between talking and communicating.

Communicating is an art, and art of combining the ability to express your opinions and feelings in such a way as to ensure that the person or people you are talking to understand what you are trying to say with the ability to listen and understand another person’s point of view.

The number of times I have sat in a room, often in meetings and at conferences and I’ve just watched and listened to what is going on around me. It is totally fascinating when whole groups of people have no ability to listen to their colleagues, partners or friends and therefore cannot understand or comprehend any opinion other than their own.

What could have been covered in five minutes or learned in half an hour often takes hours or days just because people refuse to sit back, listen and understand.

Over the years it’s amazing the number of times people are provided with information that, if they acted upon, could totally alter a relationship, career or the success of a business. But, because the sheer lack of peoples ability to listen to and think through another persons point of view unique opportunities pass them by.

Relationships are no different to the work environment other than there are, usually, just two of you. Often, what could be a marriage made in heaven is destroyed by the sheer inability to communicate. The most successful relationships, be it business or personnel are those whereby both parties have strong verbal and listening skills.

Many relationship problems begin with poor communication. Couples often feel that their partner should know what they are thinking and how they feel so do not communicate and then wonder why they feel neglected and under valued.

How many people decide not to tell their partner something just because they don’t know how to say it and then the problem just eats away at the relationship until there is no relationship left? What a waste, just the sheer ability to share a problem can make what seemed to be an insurmountable issue a tiny little blip on a large horizon.

So whenever you feel stressed or don’t know what to do don’t just bottle it up, talk about it, seek advice and listen to the answer. Don’t keep quiet when you know in your heart a problem has to be aired and don’t put off until tomorrow what has to be sorted today. Tomorrow never comes!!

It is how you say something that will ruin a relationship and not what you have to say. The wrong way is just to blurt out something that you know will aggravate or distress your partner. The last thing you want is for them to get defensive, storm off or burst into floods of tears. You want the person you are trying to communicate with to be open and perceptive and in order to be able to achieve this, your timing and approach has to be right.

Every individual is different what will work with one person won’t necessarily work with another and with some people all you can do is sew the seed and then let them walk away and work it out for themselves.

One person I know never actually listens to anyone. She is one of those people who is always right no matter what, hasn’t a clue about being a team player and operates within a zero tolerance zone. Traditional approaches and method of reasoning just don’t work and alls you can do is plant the seed of thought which eventually develops into her, own acceptable idea.

Given peoples individuality you need to learn what, is the right approach for you and your partner. Make sure that you never start a discussion if you don’t have time to finish it, don’t insist on a debate when one of you is off out to work, dealing with the kids or just relaxing in front of their favourite TV programme. If the timing seems to be never right ask the question ‘when would it be a good time for us to just sit down and talk?? Whatever you do, do not let yourself appear agitated either in what you say or how you say it. Body language can just as easily put your partner on the defensive as what you say to them. Even if your partner is vying for a fight just don’t react.

Remember, the first golden rule, approaching defensive with defensive is a sure way to failure.

One of the key ways to improve communication is to develop strong listening skills. Couples often fail to listen to what their partner has to say, interrupt and give the impression that no matter what is said they won’t change their mind. One trick to ensure that you have listened and you do understand is to repeat what you have heard. This will demonstrate that you have listened to what was said and by repeating it back you have the opportunity to comprehend and understand.

How often do we try and work through a problem and it’s only at the point we are explaining the issue to someone else does the magic light bulb switch on which enables us to come up with the answer.

If you are taking an exam would you expect to know everything just by being told it once? For most people I would say not. We have to work at it and work at it hard.

No one ever said marriage would be easy it’s just another lesson we have to learn as we experience life but if you want to save your marriage and make it even more special than it was before then there is very little to stop you.

Relationship problems can lay heavy on your mind, become a burden and what was originally a small issue can develop into an insurmountable mountain.

If you begin to feel that marital issues are beginning to weigh heavily on your mind, take a break and do something you enjoy and preferably with your partner. If you can refocus your attention of the better things in life, day to day issues always seem that much smaller. Spending a little time together and enjoying each other’s company could enable you and your partner to recapture some of the feelings that have been lost through constant arguing and help you regain a positive perspective on your relationship.

Just one last word of advice, when you are feeling down and feel you no longer want to save your marriage just remember that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

If you believe you have financial issues now what do you think it will be like when you split your assets, if you feel you don’t have time to do things what will it be like when you are on your own or worse a single parent and if you feel lonely now how will you feel when every time you walk in your front door all’s you have is your own company. Now none of these thoughts have been aired to encourage you to stay in a bad relationship but rather to make you consider whether or not yours is as bad as you think.

You are the master of your own destiny and if you want to turn a bad marriage around you have the power at your fingertips.

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